Earth Is Mine

Chapter 7

I remember what it felt like when Michael kicked me in the ribs during my first match on Pluto. It was only a day after I had chosen to become a fighter in the pits and the memory of the blinding pain in my ribs right after his foot connected with my ribcage still haunts me. 

That is the only way I can explain how I feel right now. 

Like someone just kicked me in the gut.

I stand up abruptly and walk away from everyone at the pantry. Lucian is alive. He's alive and well and he's fighting back against Lazarus. 

I stagger to the back of the ship where it is quiet and my thoughts are my only company. There is a small room right across from me and I look into the small glass panel to see a room similar to the one Lucian occupied on our trip to the Serpentine Constellation to save his mother. 

My fingers unconsciously tap on the door censor and it slides open. I walk inside and the entire room lights up with memories of us. 

I see Lucian sitting on the floor watching the cameras and then I join him and he tells me his innermost thoughts and worries. My gaze shifts to the wall and I see Lucian pushing me against it and kissing me fiercely after we saved his mother. 

My hands clutch the air, wanting to feel his warmth, his strong arms around me, holding me up as I lose myself in his icy blue eyes. 

But I feel nothing and it makes me think about the distance I've placed between us after I chose to leave him during his match against Lazarus. 

I sink to the floor, my chest swirling with an impossibly odd mixture of relief, happiness and fear. 

I didn't expect to see him again and now it is all I can think of. 

I must have fallen asleep on the floor in the small room because Catori nudges me gently, disrupting my dreams of Lucian and I. 

"Aria, you need to eat. You've been out for a while," She says and her voice is like a sweet caress to my ears. It reminds me of Cassandra and how she used to care for me. 

She would have made a really good mother. The opportunity was stolen from her, just like a happy ever after was stolen from Rosie and Matt, Jade and Josephine. 

My vision blurs momentarily and I don't realise what is happening until Catori pulls me towards her and wraps me in a hug. 

"Cry it out honey. Let it all out," She murmurs while she rubs my back and her comfort acts as catalyst for me to cry even more. 

Tears run down my face as I cry about all the people I've ever cared about - Cassandra, Rosie, my family. I've lost all of them, I thought I'd lost Lucian even. 

Hearing that he is alive seems to be the only silver lining in my grey horizon. 

After a while my exhaustion kicks in and I have no more tears to spill. I wipe my face and give Catori a weak smile. 

She leads me to the bathroom where I wash up and then I meet the rest at the pantry. 

"Finally sleeping beauty is up," Remulus chides and I see him dig into a can of beans again. Joon is seated next to him with the same pile of food on his plate. 

I see Rachel, Cetus and the long eared alien sitting around the table as well. They cast me cautious glances as I approach them and take a seat. 

"How long have I been out?" I ask. 

"Two cycles," Rachel replies and then she hands me a can of beans. "You've missed four meals so you better eat up. I expect you to finish that."

I nod at her and eat slowly. It takes awhile to get my appetite back.