Audacity : DM

Eighteen

TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter contains major actions of self-harm.

Please read with caution.

//Mature Content Ahead//

Rosalie;

Draco never returned to the hospital wing that day — after I had told him I got my memories back. He simply left and didn't look back. There was a pain in my chest that kept growing from the loss of him not being by my side.

That pain didn't go away as he started to avoid me for the next two days.

We would consistently pass one another through the corridors and I'd find myself giving him a shy smile — he never returned one and instead, walked away from me. To his disappointment, when we were going in the same direction, his head would be directly on the floor, not bothering to link eyes with me, which is not normal for a human with a high ego like him.

Even though he has not actually gone anywhere — I miss him.

It hurts to want something that you can never have. It's like I'm drowning myself to him, falling deeper and deeper until there is no more sky left to see or air left to breathe. It's an emptiness no one can ever fill — a loneliness that is deeply felt by only your soul.

I miss him and he doesn't miss me.

Perhaps, to him, I was convenient and simply a distraction from the worries that fills his life — that being the only explanation for his recent demeanour towards me. On the contrary, he could have a shyness to me due to me finding out his true feelings; not that I necessarily believe them.

Yesterday while I was reading one of my books curled next to the fire place, I recalled that I hadn't told Finleigh about the events happening between Draco and I.

Events?

Is that even the correct word to use?

I sought to find myself truly disbelieving that she is even aware of our constant bickering, our deep conversations or the fact that we have been spending time together. For me, it hurts knowing that I'm lying to the only person I can rely their trust on.

I'm not ready.

I'm not ready for what comes after she knows.

After the second we met, her voice never quit floating in my ears.

"He is a psychotic devil . . ."

Those were her exact words.

But, who's to say this — thing will escalate any further?

For all I know, he has used these past few days to sleep with everything girl available, or he had finally realized he doesn't want me and I'm just a challenge. I'm sure most girls would drop to their knees for him, which is why he finds me exotic.

Because I'm a challenge.

Today I decided to skip my classes and spend some time with myself for a couple of hours, walking through the corridors with no apparent goal or destination. I almost hope someone will stop me, a professor or a student, and ask me what I'm doing. A few professors pass, giving me large smiles or nods, but not knowing that I'm supposed to be in class because they don't my my exact schedule.