Here For You - A WolfStar Fanfiction

Part 11 - People Are Worried

Time Skip – Later that day

Remus

Remus was thinking about the day he had. Mainly the part where Millie kissed him. It was the first time anyone had kissed him. It kinda sucked that it was with her. Not that she was a bad kisser or anything, not that Remus would know if she was, but he wished his first kiss was with someone he actually cared about. Remus' mind was racing. Would he have to tell Sirius? He probably should. He hoped Sirius wouldn't hate him. What would he do if he did? His panicking thoughts were interrupted by Sirius walking into their dorm.

"Hey," Sirius said. His eyes were red, but his smile seemed real and as beautiful as ever.

"Hey," Remus replied, his concern present in his tone. "Where have you been?"

Sirius looked down, refusing to meet Remus' eyes. "Just went for a walk."

"Okay," Remus said, making it clear he didn't believe him, but he didn't push any further. "Listen there is something I need to talk to you about."

"Sounds Sirius," Sirius said with a smirk, making Remus look down, to hide his blush.

"It is," Remus said. It now being he who refused to meet the other's eyes. "You should probably sit down."

"Okay," Sirius said, sounding unsure.

"Umm," Remus began, struggling to continue. What if Sirius blamed him? Would he hate him? What if he couldn't bear to even be in the same room as Remus?

"You can tell me," Sirius said. Remus finally looked up, and their eyes met. "Whatever it is. I promise to keep an open mind." When Remus still didn't go on, he added, "I will never stop wanting to be your friend," like he could see in Remus's eyes what he was worrying over.

"Millie kissed me," Remus whispered. Then louder he said "I swear I didn't kiss her back. I pulled away as soon as I realised what happened. I don't think of her like that. I like-" Remus stopped himself just in time. "Someone else. Please don't hate me, though I understand it you do. I just-"

Sirius wrapped Remus in a hug. He softly reassured Remus, "It's okay. Moons, I could never hate you. I know you would never do that to me." Only then did Remus realise there were tears in his eyes. Why was he so pathetic?

"Did you really think you would lose me over this?" Remus didn't answer. "You matter more to me than any girl will."

Remus felt so grateful, "Sorry I was acting so pathetic." He said.

"You weren't being pathetic. I probably would have freaked out just as much if I thought I might lose you. Okay?"

"Okay." Remus agreed.

"I also came up here to talk to you about something if you feel up to it. No pressure."

Remus nodded, "What did you want to talk about?"

Sirius fiddled with the hem of his shirt, "well I wanted to ask you a question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"How did you know you were bi?"

Remus froze. He made sure the others knew that they could ask any questions they had, but he had kind of been hoping that they wouldn't ask this one. But he said he would answer, and he didn't want it to seem like he had anything to hide in terms of this question, even though he kind of did.

"Well, it started with me noticing when guys were attractive or had pretty eyes and stuff, as well as girls. Then last year I think I had a crush on a guy in Ravenclaw, and I got really nervous around him and stuff. That's when I started to think that I might be bi. Then I had a really big crush on another guy this year, and yeah. Here we are."

Sirius was silent for a second, pondering this information. Then, with a smirk, he asked, "Who's the Ravenclaw?"

Remus blushed, "Eddie Thompson."

"Ooh, interesting. And if you don't mind, who's the other guy?" Sirius continued.

"You wouldn't know him" Remus lied. "Anyway, I'm over him now" Another lie. "He got a girlfriend soon after I realised that I liked him." Truth.

"That sucks, sorry." Sirius started fidgeting again. "Thanks for answering my question anyways."

"Of course," Remus said, relived Sirius wasn't asking any more about his big crush.

"And so, I kind of want to tell you something as well," Sirius said not looking up from his fingers, which were now toying with the bottom of his tie. "I know this is probably out of the blue for you, but I think I've known for a while, and I wanted to tell you because you are my friend and the person I trust most in the world. You know...things...about me no one else knows, and anyway I'm rambling to try and stall sorry."

"Pads. Don't be sorry" Remus said, trying not to get his hopes up to high. Remus had an idea of where this was going, and he wanted to make this much easier for Sirius than it was for him. That meant not letting his feelings get in the way. "Ramble on all you want until you feel ready to tell me. And if you decide today isn't the day, I won't bring it up again until you do. But know that sometimes things feel like less of a big deal after you say them."

Sirius' gorgeous eyes met his, seeming to show relief and comfort in Remus reassurance.

"Okay. You're right. I'm ready. I can do this," Remus tried to give him the most comforting smile he could. "I think- well I don't think, I know. Anyway." Sirius took a deep breath before confirming Remus' suspicions, "I'm gay."

Remus' face broke into a smile before he could stop it, his mind racing. Stop! This doesn't mean anything. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. You know I love and support you no matter what. Does anyone else know?"

"Just you and Lily" Sirius replied. "She kinda helped me work some stuff out. Like how I kept trying to prove to myself I was straight, with all the girlfriends. But I'm not."

"That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you," Remus added quickly, wanting to make sure Sirius didn't feel that way. Because there was nothing wrong with the gorgeous wizard in front of him.

"I know, but my family isn't going to agree with that," Sirius whispered. It suddenly hit Remus how bad the situation was. He hadn't come out to his parents yet, but they were loving people who he knew would support him. For Sirius, he had the complete opposite.

"If they ever get too much, can you promise you will leave? Come to my house, or James' his parents love you. They would take you in as would mine. Please promise you won't make yourself stay there. Please?"

"Okay. But I don't plan on telling them anyway." Sirius assured him.

"That doesn't mean they won't find- sorry this probably isn't helping. I'm just worried about you."

"It's okay. It's nice actually. To know that someone cares, even if my family don't."

"Well, we all care," Remus assured him. "And I'm here for you okay. Anytime. No matter what."

"Thanks. I'm here for you too." Sirius smiled. 

//Ayyy look at me writing something!!! also SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE READ THIS WOUW THANK YOU SO MUCHHH. 

Also if there are any things you want me to add trigger warnings for please please please let me know. comment it or just message it to me privately if you are more comfortable with that. I wont judge I promise. love you guys :)