Here For You - A WolfStar Fanfiction

Part 10 - Common Room Kiss (2/2)

Sirius

Pacing in front of the Fat Lady Portrait, Sirius was trying to work up the nerve to give her the password and go inside. His stomach felt as if hundreds of little bombs were going off inside. He had been talking to James, who had convinced him to ask Remus to the ball. James was convinced Remus would say yes, though Sirius wasn't so sure.

"Are you going in or not?" The Fat Lady complained. "I was going to try and practice my gorgeous vocal skills, and the sound of your footsteps is quite off-putting. Unless you'd rather stop and listen. It would be quite a treat for you-"

"No, I'm going in now," Sirius assured her, despite every part of his existence fighting to run in the other direction. Why was he doing this again? It is sure to end badly. Despite that, Sirius muttered the password and stepped through the portrait hole.

Remus was talking with Millie. What were they talking about? Remus usually stayed away from his girlfriends, especially his ex's. He couldn't see Remus' face, but Millie was smiling, as she pulled him in for a deep kiss.

Sirius' head started to spin, and he was struggling to breathe. He quickly ran back out of the common room and just kept running. Trying to run away from his problems.

When Sirius finally stopped, he found himself up the top of the astronomy tower. He technically wasn't supposed to be there, but he didn't really care. As he sat down, he realised he was crying. He cursed himself for such a weak display of emotion.

"Crying isn't weak, it's strong" Sirius jumped, not realising anyone else was in the tower, or that he had said that last thing aloud. Lily was standing a few steps down from where he was. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. But as I was saying, realising you are sad and having the courage to do so, despite the world telling you it is a sign of weakness is very brave. Even if you are by yourself." Lily explained. "Jellybean?"

"What?" Sirius questioned.

"It's like muggle Bertie Botts, but I prefer them because they all taste good."

"Why not," Sirius took one from the bag. "Wow, you were wrong this one is gross!"

"Was it black?" When Sirius nodded she continued "I like them, but most people don't try the other colours.

He tasted the others and they were good. "What are you doing up here?" Sirius asked.

"Checking on you, of course, I would never break a rule just to eat my jellybeans with this view," she said the last part sarcastically, making Sirius think that there was a chance she had come up here with her jellybeans before. "I got kinda worried about you after you ran out of the common room."

Sirius groaned, "How many people saw that?" 

"Only me," Lilly assure him "I just notice these things, can't really explain it. I also saw that you ran out a second after Millie kissed Remus."

Sirius groaned again, "That obvious huh?"

"Like I said, only to me. My brain works in strange ways."

"Strange enough to start crushing on your best friend?" Sirius asked.

"I'm pretty sure half the school has had a crush on him at some point, but this isn't an ordinary crush, is it?"

"Well no," Sirius explained, "At least I don't think so. I mean I don't really know how much I liked any of my girlfriends, it was more me trying to assure myself that I was like everyone else, but maybe I needed the right girl to prove that to me. Sorry, I'm not explaining this very well."

"No it's fine," Lily assured him. "You were trying to convince yourself that you didn't like Remus, but it was happening subconsciously, and you didn't realise until later."

"Yeah," Sirius sighed, "You are good at explaining things. The problem now is there is no way he will ever like me back."

"Why not?" Lily pondered.

"Remus is perfect. He is almost the top of our class. He is kind, loyal, and so very brave because of everything he has to go through. He's also gorgeous. His eyes are so beautiful, they can get even me to stop talking. And well I'm, I'm not all of that. Also, he just kissed Millie."

"Two things," Lily responded. "One, he is not top of the class, I am." Lily flicked her hair making Sirius laugh. "Two, I know he came out to you guys in the holidays, so you have known there is at least a chance for a while. And I won't hear any more of this negativity. Yes, Remus may be all those things, but you are too! And I know you think you are pathetic, but you are not. You are brave and strong and loving and sometimes too cheeky for your own good. But you are Sirius Black! The guy most of the school has had a crush on-"

"But even if that's true, he was kissing her! That sends the message that he couldn't possibly be interested in me."

Lily was silent for a minute as if pondering what to say next. When she finally spoke she said "He pulled away, from the kiss. Almost as soon as it started."

This shocked Sirius. "But that doesn't mean he likes me." 

Tears still falling down his face, leaving him wondering what was wrong with him when Lily quietly said, "I'm very observant. I know that you and Imogen broke up because she thought you liked me when it was really Remus you were staring at. I know that you still don't see your worth and that nothing I can say will change that, no matter how hard I try. But I'm not going to stop trying. So please remember that when I say he does like you. I can see it in his eyes. The way he looks at you is almost identical to the way you look at him. Like you are the only person in the world. The way he blushes at your compliments. And the way he tried to get on with all your girlfriends because he wanted you to be happy. Know that I have never been wrong when I say he likes you. A lot. And you guys are perfect for each other."

✨Lily ✨(1st person)

I told Remus I wouldn't tell Sirius that he liked him. And well, I did. But I knew he liked him way before that day in the bookstore. I just knew that moment when he told me would mean a lot to Remus, and I didn't want to take that away from him too much. I didn't tell Sirius anything I didn't already know. But those two are so similar, I can tell they don't believe they are worth much, I just need them to see that they are. And I have a feeling that they are the only ones who can do that for each other, so I am going to get them together, but I'll need help. Ugh. From stupid cute. James. Whatever. Maybe Remus is right.

//Hello! I hope you don't mind I broke the pattern for Lily, who is such a queen. Anyway sorry this is really late!!! I have had a lot on, and even though I had this written on my phone, I didn't have a chance to publish it till now. 

Merry Christmas!!!