Something In Between: Sequel to On The Edge of Tomorrow

Chapter 45

"I can't believe you have a kid," I said in amazement.

"It's fantastic, and scary, and unbelievably incredible all at the same time," Tim noted.

"Look at these hands," I said as James wrapped his tiny hand around my finger.

"He has enormous feet. He's going to be tall," Tess added. "And based on the last two months, a soccer player too," she laughed.

"There's the godfather," Tim announced as Billy joined the group with Sarah in toe.

"You're letting butterfingers Lil hold him? Is that safe?" Billy teased as he sat next to me and scooped James up in his arms.

Just as I expected, Billy instinctively knew what to do. James nestled into his arms and fell fast asleep.

"How killer is he?" Billy murmured to me. "I want one," he added.

"You will be an incredible father and godfather," I agreed.

Sarah slipped in next to Billy.

"What do you say, Sarah? Baby time?" Billy asked.

"Looking at this little peanut, it's hard to say no," Sarah agreed.

Sure enough, a little over a year later, I found myself in Billy's living room, holding his daughter in my arms.

"She's my best work," Billy murmured as he adjusted her blankets.

"I love the name, Vivian." I smiled as I looked down at her.

"Watch your fingers; she's a strong one," Tim noted as James bounced in front of his seat.

"She's going to be stubborn," Sarah agreed.

"Like her grandmother," I teased as I bumped my shoulder into Billy.

"And her godmother, hopefully. What do you say, Lil?" Billy asked.

"What?" I looked at Billy, then Sarah, then back to Billy.

"Tim has already graciously agreed to be her godfather, but Sarah and I would be honored if you would be her godmother," Billy explained.

"I would. I mean, yes, of course," I stammered as my gaze fell back to Viv. "And your first words will be Spice Girls," I added.

"Offer rescinded," Billy teased.

I visited a couple of times during Viv's two years and then met my godson for the first time.

"Meet Jackson." Billy placed Jackson in my arms and wrangled a wiggling Viv into his arms.

Billy's hazel eyes peer up from me and a calm eased into me and stole my breath. "My goodness, he is like a mini-you," I said to Billy.

"Yeah," Billy agreed as Viv bounced around his lap.

"You seem tired," I noted to Billy.

"Yeah, two kids," he agreed. "But I wouldn't trade them for the world."

"Where's Sarah?" I asked.

"Oh, she's around," he absently said.

I didn't press; I just turned my attention back to Jackson. Still, I could tell something was off. In our conversation, Billy let on to more of his frustrations. It was one thing for people to approach him or advance when he was out with Sarah, but he became fiercely protective when he was with his children.

"They just walked right up and started taking pictures of Viv like they knew us," he complained on the phone one day. "I'm just trying to take my daughter to the fucking park, and these people are just snapping pictures like they own my life."

"I'm sorry, Billy. I don't know what else to say. People suck." I was of no help. If I let him know that I'd be even more manic than he was about the situation, I'd only be fueling him, not defusing him.

"I just," he sighed. "I don't understand why it doesn't freak Sarah out. She shrugs it off like it's normal. Viv is three, and Jackson is barely one; don't they deserve privacy? Don't people get that?"

"They do, but..." I let my words drop out. My thoughts were still not going to help the situation.

"I know I chose this profession." His annoyance permeated his words. "I just thought people would have some decency. Jackson is one now; what about in a couple of years when I want to take him to a ball game or, worse, actually coach his ball team?"

"Or worse, what if you want to take Viv to a ballgame or coach her team?" I teased.

Billy sighed. "Not on topic, but point taken." He was silent for a moment. "I wish Sarah and I agreed about this. I wish I weren't the only one outraged."

I wanted to understand, but I lived an everyday life. I graduated from college, started a career, and bought a home. My life was quiet, but if I was honest, I always found myself gazing out the window of my suburban dream, hoping for something to light a spark. The passion that I witnessed in Billy never came to me.

Sam and I fit; that was our story. We grew together, building our careers and life. But our own cracks started to show when Sam wanted to try for children. For months, I found excuses for waiting, but we both knew the problem; I still didn't want children. Honestly, I didn't want any of the planned life. I was relieved when I found out I couldn't have kids, and Sam was crushed.