Something In Between: Sequel to On The Edge of Tomorrow

Chapter 31

Billy, only feet away, didn't persuade me to sleep, so I watched the snowfall silently outside. Once the darkness of night broke to the dull gray of the morning's rising sun, I popped out of bed to begin my day. My body quickly responded to being busy despite the lack of sleep. I focused my mind on each deliberate movement to stop the thought that I wanted to punch through: if it was this hard to be apart from Billy, maybe I shouldn't be apart from Billy. Still, Sam was lingering there as well, with his crooked smirk and messy hair.

The steam from my coffee coursed over my face as Mary shuffled into the kitchen.

"I should've known you'd be up." There was a telling tone to her voice, as though she had known I had been up all night.

I watched as she poured herself a cup of coffee and settled across from me.

Without me saying anything, she answered the questions, scrambling my brain. "I know; you two are young and figuring life out. It feels terrible right now, but it's good."

When Mary spoke, I felt as though she already knew the ending to my story with Billy. Everything was an eventuality to her. I wanted to beg her just to tell me how the story ended.

Instead, I watched as she took a long sip of her coffee and began again. "You know, Billy was barely eighteen when he came home one day and announced he was married. I nearly joined my Armand in the grave." She let out a cavalier laugh at her jest of death. "They were young." Her eyes focused on mine more deliberately now, "but you know Billy is young; he'll always be young."

She wasn't talking about years; Billy was young: hopeful, impetuous, optimistic.

"He hasn't had an easy life for his optimism." I had thought I had noted it in my head, but Mary's broadened smile told on my voice. "I didn't mean to imply..."

Mary's hand tapped on mine. "There's no implication to the truth. I coddled Billy instead of preparing him for the life he faced long before he met you. He's carried the world on his shoulder since he could stand, no matter how much I indulged him. But my desire to pamper my last baby made him thin-skinned and unprepared for some things. He chooses optimism. He chooses to believe in people, especially people he loves," she added a wink with the word 'loves.' "But he's not blind. You're just looking at it from inside his circle. Most don't get that luxury."

"What if I made a mistake?" It had been the screaming from my heart that kept me up all night.

"Only you know that. But that's not the question you should be asking." She took another painfully long sip of her coffee, forcing me to see where Billy got his showmanship. "Did you make your decision from a place of knowing yourself or a place of fearing life?"

It was a good question that immediately spun me to my proverbial ass. Fear was undoubtedly involved, but I also knew myself; I knew I wasn't built for a life without my own path. "I won't be happy just following him around, and if I don't follow him around, what kind of life will that be? I'll never see him."

"When you get to be as old as I am, you realize that, unfortunately, life has more questions than answers." Mary's riddles were rubbing up against my exhaustion. "Why don't you bring Billy some coffee? I suspect he's had as much sleep as you." She gave another wink as she heaved herself up. "Let him know I'm making French toast. He always manages to get up for French toast!" She added in a sing-song voice as she rummaged through the refrigerator.

I poured a cup for Billy before heading upstairs. My feet forced a pause at his door that the coffee didn't expect, causing the warm liquid to slosh dangerously close to spilling. I tried to calm myself as it settled, but I quickly determined that the effort was useless and pushed open the door.