Constant smile - shinso x kaminari

Chapter Nine

He was lying before.

Shinso doesn't care, you annoy him

JUST DIE ALREADY

"Kami." Denki turned his head and tried to produce a believable smile. "let's talk when you finish having a shower." Hitoshi eyed the towel in Denki's hand. Denki nodded and went into the bathroom.

Denki stepped into the shower and felt the hot water trickle down his back. He hoped it would leave the tension and put him at ease but he could barely shut off his thoughts. Sometimes when Shinso was there they turned off for a bit like the time with the pillows or when he hugged Denki but it never lasted for long.

He'll never care about you

Why would you ever care about ugly dumb broken useless fag

Memories of his father hit him like a train.

Flashback

"Stupid bitch get off the FUCKING FLOOR and make me dinner before I make you wish you would have a FUCKING BORN!" 12-year-old Denki stood up but kept his eyes on the floor. "Yes sir." He mumbled. His father walked away and muttered some other curse words. Denki picked the glass out of his hair and made dinner. He wished he wasn't born every day of his life. Once Denki had finished he placed the mail in front of his father "fucking finally" Denki warily eyed his father if it wasn't up to his standards, he would be dead. Hopefully figuratively. His father picked up some of the pasta and meat with his fork and put it in his mouth. Which he directly spat out after. "Are you trying to poison me?!" Denki's father chucked the plate of food at the wall and proceeded to pull Denki up the stairs by his hair, to the bathroom.

His father lifted his head out of the toilet bowl. "This'll teach you not to serve me fucking disgusting pasta stupid bitch!" Denki's head went down again. His arms tried to pull out of the bowl but a 12 year olds strength couldn't beat a 45 year olds one. Denki felt everything go a little fuzzy before finally his head got lifted out again. His father picked him up by the hair and flung him against the wall. "Serve me something like that again and you'll be in the grave next to yours mothers." Denki sat in a ball in the corner of the bathroom for a couple hours. Finally standing up he looked at himself in the mirror. His fathers words ran through his head over and over again like a broken record. Staring too long made Denki hate himself more than he already did so he busied himself with cleaning him wounds.

End of flashback

Denki came back to the world upon hearing a knock at the door. "Kami you good in there?" Denki silently scoffed, 'As if he cares, no one cares and that's a fact.' "Yeah just finishing up." Denki's poor attempt to put cheer in his words showed. "Well it's been like twenty minutes so I thought I'd check on you." Denki's eyes widened, '20 minutes? Damn.' "I'll be out in 2." He quickly washed his self and got out of the shower.

Hitoshi was sitting cross legged on his bed, waiting for Denki. Once he came out of the shower (fully clothed btw) Denki sat down in the same position on his own bed. "I was talking wi-" Denki interrupted Hitoshi. "Let me start. I don't get you at all Shinso. You act like you care one minute, totally fake by the way, and then you seem so annoyed and bored with me. Am I that boring, I mean I know I'm a fuck up but it still hurts when you seem so uninterested." Denki's sudden confidence boost wore off and he got anxious about what Hitoshi would say or do. "Look at me Kami." Denki picked his eyes off the floor and flickered his eyes at Hitoshi for a second. "If I seem uninterested it isn't because it's being directed at you, it's just how I am. I'm sorry if it affected you but I do care about you Kam." Half of Denki wanted to believe him but the other half was saying that it was all lies. He felt so conflicted, he looked back at Hitoshi. His eyes looked so comforting and safe that Denki just wanted to cuddle Hitoshi forever. But the anxiety always creeps back in.

Denki was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't realise Hitoshi was now sitting on his bed. "The reason I wanted to talk to was Aizawa and I agree you should go to a therapist." Denki became instantly nervous. His trust issues made it hard to talk to people sometimes, talking to a complete stranger about all his deepest problems would be impossible. Hitoshi noticed Denki was getting a bit nervous so he wrapped his arms around the yellow haired boy. "It's going to be fine, I can go with you if you like." Denki looked up at Hitoshi hopefully and he smiled back down at Denki. 'Cute' Hitoshi thought, which led to his face heating up as he realised what he thought but also the position they were in. (Denki's legs were wrapped around Hitoshi's torso). Before he could back out of the hug Denki hugged Hitoshi tighter. And as Denki started sobbing Hitoshi forgot about what he was thinking about, "Hey what's wrong?" "I'll try to explain it during therapy." Hitoshi's face lit up, 'He actually agreed to it!' Denki looked up at Hitoshi and gave him a small smile. Hitoshi could have been offered a billion dollars and he wouldn't of taken his eyes off Denki. Although Denki had realised the position they were in, he didn't care. He only cared that Hitoshi could actually care about him. Even if it was only ever plantonic and Hitoshi never liked him more than a friend, at least he cared. "Hey Shinso?" "Mm?" Hitoshi hummed into Denki's hair making him shiver a little. "Could you please not tell anyone about my past and stuff?" "I would never, I promise." Satisfied Denki smiled into Hitoshi's chest. After that they both laid down on Denki's bed and fell into a calm sleep with their arms wrapped around each other.

A/n - lol wassssuupp. I'm not dead I just didn't have the energy to upload. Thank you for nearly 700 views and thanks for reading this angst piece of shit. Also shoutout to Good Will hunting, very good movie.. go it watch right now. Also also I realise that Denki's urge to kill himself dies off in the shower scene, it because I wrote different parts like a week apart so I forgot what I wrote soz.