Something In Between: Sequel to On The Edge of Tomorrow

Chapter 26

I nodded as I tried to see the evening from Billy's eyes.

"Why didn't you tell him who I was?" Billy asked, looking at me for the first time.

"It didn't feel fair."

"To whom?"

"To me," I admitted.

"Why wasn't it fair to you?" He sat back now, the rigidity easing from him.

"I didn't want to explain myself; my choice."

"Would he have asked you to explain?"

"I don't know, but if I gave him a chance." I didn't want to admit the thought.

"He may disappoint you," Billy answered for me.

"Yeah. I didn't want you to somehow reflect on me. I haven't done anything; I may never do anything except follow the map."

"Don't do that."

I shyly met Billy's eyes. "Don't do what?"

"Condemn yourself to be mundane before you've even started."

"But isn't that what I've been running to? A quiet life?"

"I hope not." He let out a throaty laugh. "I'd have fought harder if I'd thought that. You can have a simple life and still be extraordinary."

I said nothing; I just held my gaze on him.

He tugged on his hair under my scrutiny. "In my experience, the strength of character, empathy, and willingness to fight for what you want are rare traits. People claim to have all three, even genuinely think they have them, but when pressed, they yield on each to get ahead."

"I've taken an easy path, an expected path."

"Expected and easy aren't synonyms, Lil. You're an English major; you should know that. Sometimes the hardest map to follow is the one you're handed."

"I don't know where I'm going," I admitted.

"Sure, you do. You're headed home to that little cottage with the porch facing west so you can watch the sunset."

"That's not a life; it's a hope."

He let out another laugh. "Isn't life hope? It is for me. Every one of my goals started with the smallest amount of hope and then grew."

"I hope Sam calls," I admitted.

"See, you're using hope wrong. That's a wish. Wishes are easy; just make it happen."

"I need to give him time," I countered.

"Agreed, but you don't need to wish for him to call. When or if the time is right, you'll find him."

"How are you so confident about this stuff suddenly?" I poked him with my toe.

"Because there once was a time when I had the same worries about you. But, over and over, we've always found our way back to each other."

"That's because you keep showing up in Maine," I shot, feeling more like myself.

"Hey, you crashed my show, darling." He flashed his dimples at me as he tugged on my ankle.

"Under duress."

"Face it, Lil, we're stuck with each other. Life's going to keep bringing us together."

"Do you think anything will ever change that?" I slumped onto his side as he tucked an arm around me.

"I sure hope not." He kissed the top of my head and murmured "strawberries" to himself. Then with a sigh, he added, "you already shattered my heart; I don't think there is much else to survive."

I stiffened at his assertion. "Did I, Billy? Did I break your heart?"

"Shattered it and ground the pieces into my skin, Lil."

"It's not funny," I pulled away from him.

"I'm not joking. You damn near killed me. I loved you with everything I had. I was planning a whole life around you, around us. And you were planning a whole life without me. I've been through break-ups before, but I thought you were it."

"And now?"

"And now I see my life with you isn't what I'd planned. It's not romance and passion, but it's still love and care. You care for me; I know that. I always knew that, but it took me some time to see that you did what you did to protect me. I get it; if we'd continued even a day more, if I'd fallen even the slightest bit more in love with you, it would've killed me. You were right; it would have been total destruction if you didn't leave when you did."

"I'm sorry." I sunk back into him.

"I know. I'm still pretty mad at you, but you had a shitty weekend, so I figured I'd take it easy on you."

All the relationships in my life needed to be mended. The thought resonated with a heavy sigh.

"Anything I can do?" Billy offered in his low murmur that vibrated in his chest.

"Mmhmm, dance video."

"Excuse me?" He let out a laugh.

"I think you should put out a dance song complete with a jazz-hands-filled music video."

"Just when I think you're going to zig, you zag,"

"Oh, and can you tell Tess and Tim that we have lunch plans?" I absently added.

"Do we? Have lunch plans?" He let out a laugh.

"Yeah, room service and a movie? I don't want to relive the gory details of last night, and I feel like that's what Tess will do."

"She means well," he offered.

"I know; you just know me better."

Billy sighed. "If Sam called you tonight and wanted to talk, would you tell him you spent the day with me?"

"Of course; you're my friend. He already knew that's what we were working towards."

"He did?" Billy skeptically looked at me.

"The first time we met was when I was on the plane to see you last summer. I told him everything. We'd broken up and were trying to be friends. The only thing I didn't tell him was that you were the Billy Collins." I sat up a looked at Billy. "I don't hide you, Billy. Like any of my friends, I talk about you. I just don't tell people what you do."

Billy heaved himself up from the loveseat.

"Where are you going?" I felt a panic rise in me.

"I'm going to tell Tim and Tess I got this." He headed to the door, but paused as his hand hit the doorknob. "Hey, Lil." I lifted my eyes to meet his. "We're friends," he confirmed. And with that, he slipped out the door.