Something In Between: Sequel to On The Edge of Tomorrow

Chapter 10

"Of course, should've known that." He kissed the top of my head again.

"Um, Billy?" I shyly spoke.

"Mmhmm," he absently answered; he hadn't noticed my tone.

"So, do you drive in the car with Timmy like this?"

"Lil, why the hell would you ask me that?"

"Well, we're friends, like you and Tim." I felt Billy's back stiffen as his mind pulled back to reality from the future I'd invented for him.

"No, I don't put my arm around him or kiss the top of his head. But, in my defense, his hair doesn't smell like strawberries, and he hasn't given nearly as much thought to my future."

"Oh, I'm not sure about the latter, and I can get him some shampoo," I offered. Still, Billy didn't eject me from his side.

"I want to talk about this more." He hit the word talk with more volume than he needed.

"About Timmy and shampoo?" My joke was a failed attempt to break the tension.

"No, about you not thinking about us. You have a pretty clear future of my domesticated life for someone that's never thought of being part of it."

"I know. I have a vision of your wife too," I admitted.

Immediately he pulled his arm away from me. "You what?" His tone was rising.

"And we're talking and safely driving," I reminded him.

He jerked the car over and threw it into park before turning his full attention to me. His dark eyes were penetrating me to my core.

"You've thought of my wife?" His tone was accusatory.

"Um, yeah," I winced, "that's weird?"

"Yeah, a little, considering we almost fucked today." He was struggling to keep his voice even.

"Remember once upon a time when you didn't think I could ever rile you up?" I offered.

He just slightly shook his head at a loss for words.

"I guess I'm wrong a lot," I added as I scooted a little further away from him.

"You've thought about me being with another woman, marrying another woman."

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's basic biology. To have kids, you need a woman. And I know you, and you would want to be married to have kids." It felt obvious to me. "She's sweet and calm with a smile that makes you immediately like her. She's tall, like you, and has blond hair and blue eyes. Oh, and for some reason, I see her wearing many sundresses."

"You've lost your damn mind." He shook his head at me.

"What? Not your type?"

"Clearly, my type is insane brunettes from the Northeast." He sat back in his seat for a minute. "I'm not sure which one of us is more insane: you for all of this, or me for being in love with you."

"When in doubt, it's usually me."

"It's not funny, Lil. It was one thing to not be in love with me, but it's entirely another to not want to be with me so badly that you invent an entire life for me."

"It's a happy life," I offered. "I'm insane," I added after a moment. "I just want you to be happy. I've always known I won't be the one to do that. I'm just not the right fit for you, you know?"

Billy just continued to stare at me in awe.

I took his silence as a cue to continue to awkwardly babble. "I mean, look, when we were dating, and you were off at your shows, and I was in the hotel room studying, I knew how silly it all was. No one in their right mind would spend the whole summer touring the country with their rockstar boyfriend and avoid the shows. And why? So I could read another book on Canada? So my sleep schedule didn't get off for the upcoming semester? Ugh, I'm insufferable. What kind of life is that?" I was talking to myself now; Billy was just part of the inanimate car. "Seriously, why couldn't I just go to the damn shows? It's not like the music is offensive, and you always made sure there was a spot for me so I didn't have to mingle with the crowd. I mean, geez, between you and Timmy, it's amazing I spoke to anyone the entire summer, which I appreciated because, you know, I get social anxiety. But still..."