Do We Let Go?

21| Rampant Emotionalism

I wish I could know what you think when you look at me.

The next day, I had a wonderful morning.

I woke up with my nostrils jammed and throat sore. When I sat down at the table for breakfast, though, I was pleasantly surprised to know that I didn't feel any nausea.

Zach noticed it too. Usually, in the morning I just paced around in my room or the living, waiting for nausea to go away after I vomit so that I could eat breakfast. Thankfully, I never lost my appetite. Sometimes, when it ruins too much of my time, I even got ready for work, but just waited for the morning sickness to go away so that I could eat and leave.

He put down his plate of pancakes, smiling at me. "Good morning. Any nausea today?"

I shook my head, extremely relieved about this. Vomiting almost every day gives one horrible cramps, they feel like your insides are twisting and turning around to choke you.

"Tea or Coffee?", he further asked me.

"Tea.", I replied, my voice sounding unfamiliar and throaty to me.

When Zach came back with my tea and pancakes, he frowned at me. "What's with your voice?"

The way I sneezed loudly right after that, making snot fly out of my nostrils, was the answer enough for him. I breathed in deeply from my nose.

"You got cold."

"Yep.", I replied, slightly wheezing.

With concern all over his face, he approached me. I was about to wave him off when he placed his hand on my forehead, which felt very cool.

"I'm fine, it's not that bad, honestly.", I shrugged.

He shook his head. "You have a slight fever, Zara. You're not fine."

I sighed. "Okay! I'll call in sick today. Happy?"

Guilt overtook his features. "I'm sorry...you're sick because of me. Last night, we were soaked in the rain, of course, you're sick!", he made a face at himself.

"Hey, Zach, it's alright. You hear me?"

He didn't believe me though. "No, Zara. Don't you realize pregnant women aren't supposed to take medicines unless it's absolutely necessary? You'll suffer because of me now."

Yeah...I remember that. Medicines could have side-effects on the baby or perhaps even harm it, so basically I have to suck it up if I don't want to harm my baby, which I don't.

"No, I won't suffer. We still have home remedies.", I reasoned with him. Honestly, the cold wasn't that bad and Zach needed me last night. I was happy to be there. I just didn't regret it and I didn't want him to either. It was my choice to stay there with him in the rain.

Seeing him cry yesterday...it was heartbreaking. He's always so charming and there's this soothing charisma around him, you'd never guess he was hurting so badly on the inside. Besides...going to the graveyard gave me some kind of relief too.

He doesn't know it, but I'd cried whilst I held him. I had let out my feelings too and it felt liberating.

"Yeah, you're right! I'll make some Ginger Ale for you. That would help with the sore throat.", he said, finally digging into his breakfast. I nodded in agreement and followed suit. I felt as if I should be eating something else...something much more delicious, but I ignored it, knowing Zach cooks everything wonderfully.

"When do you have to leave for work?"

"Oh, I don't. I have a day off."

Done with my meal, I got up and laid down on the sofa, relaxing my stiff body. I put on my headphones and closed my eyes, the music has a calming effect on me.