Stand By You

Chapter 4 - It's not your fault

"All done." Tae smiled at Jin, giving a light pat to his waist as he helped him out of the bathroom to his bed.

Jin gave a watery smile back as he sat down on the bed immediately clutching his RJ plushie to his chest. Still feverish and weak, he was looking a bit better after Tae had cleaned him up with a washcloth, re-bandaged his injuries and helped him change into his comfiest pyjama. There was a tense moment in the washroom when Jin had pushed Tae away, eyes wide in fear, when the younger had removed his boxers to help him into new ones. Helping each other change was nothing new to them as they have all done it numerous times for each other whenever any of them is too sick or tired to do it themselves. Hence, Tae didn't think of giving him a warning before removing his boxers with his jeans. But Jin's body forced him into a state of panic. As Tae looked up from the floor with shock and guilt evident on his face Jin had realised what he has done and had fallen down on his knees crying and mumbling apologies over and over again. The younger pushed the building lump down his throat and pulled the elder into a hug shushing his apologies and drying the tears on his cheeks. Once Jin calmed down, Tae made a quick job of dressing him and helped him out of the washroom.

"You take rest. I will be back." Tae turned to step out of the room but stopped when he felt a tug on his sleeves. He felt the lump grow back as he looked at his Hyung's small fist desperately holding his sleeves.

"I am sorry Taetae. Please don't leave me." He felt his eyes water at Jin's barely audible mumble. His Hyung looked so small and guilty as he refused to make eye contact but continued tugging on Tae's sleeve. Tae rushed forward to sit beside him. He held Jin's face between his hands slightly pushing it up to make eye contact.

"Hyung, you don't have anything to be sorry about and am not leaving I was just going to get some ice water and towels for your fever. Jimin went to get it but is not back yet -." Tae stopped abruptly as Jin gingerly placed a finger on his slightly red chin.

"Hyungie is sorry for hurting you and for pushing you Taetae. I would never want to hurt you, even in my dreams I would never, I -I don't know what c- came over me. I got so- so scared. I know you won't hurt me ever but I still got scared. I am s-sorry." Fat tears once again rolled down Jin's cheeks as he lightly brushed Tae's chin. Tae held his wrist firmly, careful of his injuries, and tugged them in his own lap.

"I understand Hyung and I am not mad. Please don't think about it so much. You should not feel sorry about anything. I am just glad that you were half asleep when you punched me otherwise I would have lost my poor nose. You are so strong Hyung." Tae was hoping that his humour would help Jin come to ease and it seems to be working until he made the last comment. Jin's face went morose and he sadly mumbled.

"Not strong enough."

"What?"

"I was not strong enough today. I couldn't even save myself. What a pathetic Hyung I am. I trusted someone so much that they took advantage of me. He told me that It was my fault. I let him overpower me. And now I am a crying mess in my dongsaeng's arms. Scared of anyone other than you guys seeing or touching me. Wow! am crying again." Jin laughed morosely as he angrily wiped his tears only for them to be replaced by new ones. He tried stopping them by looking up and chewing on his lips.

Tae has never liked this side of Jin. The one where he talks down about himself or tries to stop himself from sharing his concerns and sadness. There have been several incidents in past where Tae had stopped him from talking ill about himself and this time is not gonna be an exception either. Tae is not gonna let Jin feel guilty when he is not.

"First of all, Nothing that happened is your fault. None of us ever suspected him. He is the only one at fault here. He broke your trust. He thought that it was okay to take advantage of you. He is a huge man and he cornered you alone. You fought him as best as you could and you managed to call us. You saved yourself by doing that. We are also part of your strength Hyung. I am so proud of you. If it would have been someone else they would have broken down after everything but look at you, you are trying your best. You are accepting our help, you are already trying to get better, trying to smile and it makes all of us so proud."