Opposites Attract

He couldn't help it and only just managed to stifle his snort of amusement.

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T LAUGH!"

"I'm not laughing," he lied, fighting to control his shaking voice.

"Don't lie to me, Mr Erm! I can hear you you know!"

"My name isn't Erm," he corrected absently as he concentrated on tracking her phones location. She had to be pranking him, there was no way... He hacked into the nearest satellite to her location, the picture swinging around to show him... Shit! How the fuck was she still talking so calmly? She was indeed very much stuck, her skirt hanging down obscuring her face, just a shock of black hair streaked with purple hanging below the hem. Long legs were wrapped around a branch and her underwear was on full show. Below her on the ground was a broken broomstick, snapped in a couple of places, singed twigs scattered all around. There were a number of other items, including what looked to be a dagger of some kind and an old book that had fallen to join it.

"What is it then?" Her tone was conversational even though he could see she was still struggling, one arm bent at the elbow, obviously holding her phone while the other flailed uselessly.

"What's what?" he was too distracted by the scene before him to follow the weirdest conversation he'd ever had, and when you had four brothers you heard some random shit.

"Your name, or do I just start calling you Mr sexy voice?"

Selene grinned to herself as his choked cough reached her ears.

"Are you seriously trying to flirt while hanging from a 30ft high branch?" He'd tapped a button, patching him into the island where Gordon answered his call.

"Who's flirting?" Gordon leapt straight onto his brothers last comment.

"Well I was before I realised how fucking high up I am! Will you bloody well help me? I swear, I'll love you forever if you don't let me fall and die with my head smashed in and my brains on the ground near StoneHenge! It's not much of a brain, but it's mine and I kinda need it!"

"No one's letting you die today. Just hang on for a minute."

"Is that a joke? What else can I fucking do!"

John muted the screaming woman and turned back to his brother, who was currently rolling around the couch, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. "John...she's...she'll love you forever..." he broke off, wheezing too hard to form words.

Thankfully for John's sanity, his second eldest brother chose that moment to wander in from the kitchen. Virgil looked from his coffee cup, full of freshly brewed dark goodness, to his middle brother's floating hologram, and then to his second youngest who was rocking in a heap on the floor, gasping for air. He was never going to get to drink his coffee now. Sadly, reverently, he placed the mug down on the coffee table and, against his better judgment, asked for more information.

John was quick to fill him in, flashing up the satellite footage that still showed the witch wiggling like a worm on a hook, trying to reach a nearby branch with her one free hand. The image sent Gordon off into a fresh burst of laughter that almost drowned out John's words.

"Tell her we're on our way," Virgil scooped up his brother, who was too weak from laughing, tears streaming down his face, and propelled him towards 2's hanger.

Taking a steadying breath, John unmuted the woman, wincing as her demanding screams for help reached his ears.

"Calm down, miss, I've dispatched a rescue team."

"You left me! How dare you! I thought we had a connection, I thought we had a thing going on! Don't you dare leave me again or I'll hunt you down!"