Nun-Nurse: A series of one shots

Scottish Gaelic

The nurses were slightly ahead of the nuns, giggling and talking, guiding there bikes and equipment to the Parish Hall. The nuns, also guiding bikes and carrying equipment, were slightly behind, Sister Monica Joan challenging Sister Evangelina to debate on the universe.

A man came out of nowhere and in a loud and slurring Scottish accent began: "Oh coimhead an seo! Buidheann de chailleachan-dubha! Buidheann de dhaoine gun mhath a tha den bheachd gu bheil iad nas fheàrr na a h-uile duine eile fhad 's Nach urrainn dhaibh dad a dhèanamh ceart! Saoil dè an coltas a th 'air an fhear bheag sin fo-"

All of the Nurses and Nuns turned around, to see the man talking what they believed to be a loud of nonsense, with Trixie and Jenny gaping Sister Evangelina was going to say something when sister Bernadette stepped in;

"Tha mi a 'smaoineachadh gum b' fheàrr dhut sùil a chumail air do bheul agus ar fàgail na aonar! Is dòcha gu bheil sinn a 'creidsinn eadar-dhealaichte dhut ach cha bu chòir sin a bhith gu diofar agus chan eil thu a' dol a dh 'fhaighinn a-mach cò ris a tha I coltach, thu Jakey!"

Sister Bernadette turned around on her heel-in a vey Trixie like way- and walked away with the Scottish man mumbling under his breath walking away as her co-workers stared at her.

"Sister, what is going on?" Cynthia was the first to recover her voice and asked the question on everybody's tongue.

"He just said some rude things about us and I put him straight that's all." The blush rose in Sister Bernadette's cheeks as she spoke

"I say, where did you learn to say that?" Chummy asked extremely shocked

"Everyone learnt it at school and my father used to talk in Gaelic a lot, helped his business." Sister Bernadette's cheeks grew more red as she held the door open for everyone to come inside.

"Thank you Sister!" Was all Sister Julienne was able to say, and Sister Monica Joan still had not recovered her voice from shock

"What did he say?" Jenny piped up, setting up the scales

"To roughly translate he said: Oh look here! A group of nuns! A group of good guys who think they are better than everyone else while they can't do anything right! I wonder what that little one looks like" Sister Bernadette said nervously as the nurses, in particular, gaped at her

"And what did you say?" Sister Evangelina asked with a laugh but there was a hint of arrogance in the question

"I think you better watch your mouth and leave us alone. We may believe different to you but that should not matter and you are not going to know what I look like, you alcoholic." Sister Bernadette answered meekly staring down at the chairs she was putting out

"You said what?" Sister Julienne was extremely shocked but her voice had a note of something else- was it pride? Meanwhile, Trixie shrieked giggling

At that moment Dr Turner arrived, "Hello, sorry I am late I-" he stopped and saw everyone gaping at Sister Bernadette and Trixie stiflingly a giggle, "What have I missed?" He asked with a sigh but a smile played on his lips.

Sister Monica Joan spoke for the first time to answer his question, "Everything!"

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Translations:
"Oh coimhead an seo! Buidheann de chailleachan-dubha! Buidheann de dhaoine gun mhath a tha den bheachd gu bheil iad nas fheàrr na a h-uile duine eile fhad 's Nach urrainn dhaibh dad a dhèanamh ceart! Saoil dè an coltas a th 'air an fhear bheag sin fo-"

Means:

Oh look here! A group of nuns! A group of good guys who think they are better than everyone else while they can't do anything right! I wonder what that little one looks like-

"Tha mi a 'smaoineachadh gum b' fheàrr dhut sùil a chumail air do bheul agus ar fàgail na aonar! Is dòcha gu bheil sinn a 'creidsinn eadar-dhealaichte dhut ach cha bu chòir sin a bhith gu diofar agus chan eil thu a' dol a dh 'fhaighinn a-mach cò ris a tha I coltach, thu Jakey!"

Means:

I think you better watch your mouth and leave us alone! We may believe different to you but that should not matter and you are not going to know what you look like, you alcoholic.