insecurities

Bonding

"I'm glad he came back for me."

She smiled and gave me the black swimsuit... "Now, let's get ready. Meet me downstairs in twenty minutes."

I got dressed then just stared at my reflection in the mirror and just reminisced about all the sweet things Ian would tell me to make me feel a lot better about myself. I couldn't help but to get hard when thinking about his touch and I slid my kimono on quickly before I got any more sexually frustrated. I wasn't quite sure why but I was feeling a lot more sexually active ever since I gave in to Ian's temptations when he got back. It was everytime we had sex, i just wanted him even more than the last time. He was addictive in every way and I missed the deep conversations we'd have at night just staring at and stupidly blushing at each other.

I took a deep breath and decided to enjoy my time with Ian's mother while it lasted . I went downstairs and found her in a blue swimsuit and a white beach towel hanging on the top of her brown beach bag.

It was a nine minute walk to the beach with three guards following us and as soon as we got there, she instantly dropped the bag then pulled me to the cold water.

"I don't do deep waters so, we should probably remain on the shallow side." I suggested and she gave me a 'pfft' then left me behind to go deeper into the water until it was just above her waist .

"C'mon, Bonnie..." she paused to throw ber hands up in the air. "... Trust me. I promise that we won't go deeper than this."

I pursed my lips then finally I gave in and followed her.

"You know... When Ian was in high school I noticed that he had a thing for girls that liked skimpy clothing and were noticeably 'inappropriate' but you were the first one that I actually approved of." she took my hands trying to make sure that I felt safe.

" Uhhm..."

"Elizabeth." she chuckled.

"Yeah. Uhhm, do you mind telling me about Ian's brother...? Not to be nosey or anything but he always talks about him then the conversation suddenly dies out. I really get worried when he doesn't talk about something."

"Ohhhw... My beautiful son, Ben." she sighed with a smile on her face that quit faded. " Being quadriplegic had to be the hardest thing ever... Besides me and having my emotional breakdowns, I really loved Ben. He used to be so close to Ian and they'd talk hours on end about every activity Ben couldn't do then Ian would take it upon himself to do it... Then tell Ben about the thrill of it all. Basketball was Ben's favorite sport to watch. He had the height requirement but just not the means to." she chuckled trying to hold down the tears that were already piled up in her eyes.

" We don't have to talk about it, if it pains you..."

She cut me off and motioned her arms above the high water to pull me closer, since our hands hands had loosened a bit." It's okay...I just really found the relationship between them admirable and Ian's a really amazing kid, honestly." she kissed her teeth before continuing. "Ian got home from school really early one time and went straight to Ben's room just to find him dead while I was busy having sex with the neighbor."

My jaw dropped at that because Ian told me that his mother sent Ben to the hospital while he was the one that found his own brother dead.

" I've never felt so disgusted and disappointed in myself like that before. And it still haunts me. Ever since Ian's father died... I vowed to raise Ian the best way that I knew how. I can't lose a second son."

"And you won't... You will never ever lose Ian and I know that for sure." I pulled her into a hug grazed my fingers against her long hair strands gently.

When we got back to the house, it was already a bit dark. I took a bath and as I got out of the tub... I heard my phone ringing from the bedroom and I rushed to pick it up.

"Ian?" I scoffed with a smile on my face.

He took a long breath before speaking, "Bonnie, are you okay?"

"Yeah... I'm enjoying the company that you called in for me."

"Wha... What are you doing now?" he whispered with his voice cracking at the beginning.

"Something is wrong... What happened?"

He cleared his throat then winced lowly, "Nothi..."

I cut him off, "And don't you tell me that nothing is wrong. Ian, I know something is up."

"Fine..." he sighed, "I got shot... Twice." he winced in pain again.

"Ian!"

"I was caught up in a crossfire... It's not a big deal because we got it under control."

"Yeah, no... I get it. It's not a big deal." the fact that he was so chilled about it angered me so much that I rolled my eyes and almost threw my phone across the room.

"Listen, Bonnie. I'll be okay. It was just a bullet to the leg and one to the chest. And besides... I took care of his family, we'll be safe now. I'll be back soon and I love you." I remained silent trying my best to keep my emotions in check.

"Bonnie, I love you..." it was silent for a moment then he spoke again. "I'm not hanging up until you say..."

"I love you."

He sighed then the line beeped and I put my phone down. As much as I couldn't wait for him to be back... I was worried and longing for him. I wanted him back before anything else happened to him.

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