Shadow Love (World Collisions) [#1]

Graffitti the Mind

"'Class, have you ever wondered who you should keep in your life and who you should kick out of your life? I know this is an odd question, especially from your teacher. But, just think to yourself and think about the people you have in your life. Whether they are in your life or they are no longer in your life. Just think about them and think about the impact they had on you and your mentality. Were they good for you or were they toxic? I know toxic can be a heavy word sometimes, but it's not to be taken lightly and this question is not meant to be taken lightly. So, take a few moments and think to yourself.

I said that exactly to the class.' I look over to my friend, Zoey and find her smiling broadly at me.

'Of course, you would ask that kind of question and of course you would tell them to do that. But, do you think that's appropriate for your english class?' Zoey looks away from me as she says this and she takes a sip of her hot chocolate. I look down and shake my head.

'You don't get it Zoey.' I didn't know how to explain to her, but it was just something she had to learn on her own.

'Then explain to me Anthony!' As she raised her voice people started to look at us and I looked away from their stares.

'I CAN"T! No matter what you just won't get it, you have your own opinions and I have my own. If you can't understand something I'm saying now, then there's no chance you'll ever get what I'm saying.' I stare down at my black coffee as I say this and it just felt...it felt like the void.

Zoey started to say something, but I don't remember what she was saying, I don't even think I was paying attention. I was just so wrapped up in my thoughts and I was lost in my mind. There was no easy way for me to explain things to Zoey, she had a hard head and she refused to listen to reason. So, even though other people had their own opinions she wouldn't listen to them and she would always assume she was right. I think that's why I didn't listen to her as she rambled on about respect and just explaining things to people.

I think that's why I had asked my class that question.

I didn't see Zoey as someone toxic, but as my therapist once said, you let one person in who's bad then you're letting in a whole lot of people who could just be a lot worse than that one person.

But, I couldn't leave Zoey.

She was my only friend and with work piling up I just find it hard to even socialize with other people. It was never my kind of thing anyway."

"Today was a...terrible day. It was Friday and it was raining, and I was running late to my first lecture. I was already known for running late and it wasn't the first great impression on people. In fact, I had a lot of students think of me as a pushover, but I'm not. They just don't know that.

It was already bad enough that Zoey was riding on my back with the whole thing about not explaining to her the way I teach and why I asked the class that question. She hasn't talked to me since then and it seems like my weeks are slowly getting worse and worse.

I had missed my payment on my rent and the landlord threatened to kick me out. But, what was new?

Then, I found out my brother died while he was serving in the navy and they couldn't find the submarine he was in. So, there was nobody to bury or cremate.

Everything was getting a lot worse and I was starting to become familiar with it all, become numb to it all. I just hope I don't become too numb to even enjoy life anymore. After all, there was still something to enjoy in this life, right?"

"It's been a few years and it feels like my life is just some laughing stock to a higher being.
Things have gotten a lot worse since the last time I...