Shadow Love (World Collisions) [#1]

A Yellow Man with A Yellow Heart

Trauma is what makes a man or breaks him. Kindness is what makes a man who he is. Love is man's greatest weakness. All of these things that man has to go through in life at some point. Some are fortunate and others are not. Some go through these things when they are young and some go through with them when they are old and brittle. Some just do not experience them in general.

I came into this world not expecting much, but I was faced with the difficulty of life when I first emerged and it all started with my birth, my origin. That started it all and I had wondered if maybe it wasn't me who was born, but instead a different soul then maybe I would be spared such a life. I find myself not caring upon such answers on such questions though.

The first trauma that I had faced was when I was young, about the age of turning five and I had watched my brother be killed by our own father and mother for he was 'corrupted'. I had cherished my brother, he was my guardian when my own parents were not. He was there for me and I loved him as such a brother should when looking up their older brother. I looked to him for peace when there was none from our parents. The second trauma I had faced was when I was seven and my parents had faced their crimes as we all had gotten into a car accident and they were paralyzed from the neck down and shortly died afterwards. The third trauma was when I was eight and I had watched my orphanage combust in flames. The fourth was when I was ten and I nearly died in the hands of a serial killer. The fifth, and last of my childhood, happened when I was eleven and I had watched my beloved aunt get slaughtered by her husband, who she thought loved her.

All of these traumas had made me the man I was today. I looked at the world in an uncaring manner and learned that no one could be trusted and to give no emotions to anyone. Some people may consider that a psychopath's way of thinking, but I was nearly stating the truth. I was done with reality, I was done with society, and I was done with life. I found all of those to be burdensome and quite irritated some. I wanted nothing to do with them.

I looked at the 'precious' face next to mine and examined it. It was chiseled as if it was perfection and the look on the man's face was one of peace and content. There was nothing to really notice, besides the few freckles on the right side of his face near his right sideburn. It was a mere detail of his face and I soon found myself getting lost in looking at it. I pulled away from my thoughts as the man started to stir from his slumber and I arose from the bed as I got dressed. I left his house shortly after.

The winter air greeted me and I embraced it as I pulled out a cigarette and put the stick between my lips as I smoked out all of its toxicness.

It was a peaceful morning thus far and I wanted to enjoy it for if I was careless enough I would find myself in the presence of the person I had slept with and would have to deal with interacting with them. It was too much work and effort. So, I usually opted for leaving before they even stirred in their sleep. It was just easier that way and more convenient.

After a while of walking and getting lost I found myself back at my dingy apartment I entered it as I pushed the door closed behind me with my foot and I shrugged off my jacket. My cigarette by now was long gone and only the ashes of it remained on my lips as I walked to my bathroom. I got ready for the day with a shower and a brush of my teeth and I exited my bathroom. I find my roommate, Taylor, leaning against the doorframe of the living room with his arms crossed over his chest as he gives me a disapproving stare.

"What's the matter now?" I asked with irritation as I walked to my room and, of course, Taylor followed as his hawk eyes watched me get ready for my morning lectures.

"You can't keep running." Taylor simply stated and I found it funny he was the one saying that as he was the one running from ex lovers, school, and life in general. I found his words to be quite bothersome.