So what?- Jaden Hossler

Thank you Jae -9

"Thank you Jae" I say looking up.
"Just telling the truth"
"Ok I think I need to go" I say seeing some girls of the team arriving.
"Good luck, I'll see you after the game, but we'll be there to cheer for you ok?" He says and I nod.

I go to the field and I see the football team warming up. As soon as everyone of the team is here we start stretching and go over some cheers.

The game is about to start. We line up for the national anthem and then we do our "fight dance".
One gone! We did it perfectly and then we start screaming to the crowd and cheering.
I see the boys. They dressed up all in hoodies and their hood is up, trying not to get recognized. I giggle a bit.
We start with some cheers and everything is going perfectly.

"And now our Sunset Cheerleaders with their new routine!" This is the words announced from a microphone introducing out half time routine. We run up to the middle of the field and get in our positions. It's like a pyramid and I'm the point of if. So first row, only spot. I'm screwed.
I look into the crowd to see my boys with their thumbs up.

The music starts and it's like everything around me disappeared. I start doing the choreography like if I was dancing in my room.
I get every count right, every shaking of us on point, all my kicks perfectly extended and I think my facial expressions are not too bad either. I missed dancing so much, I feel so free when I dance.
It's now the part I was most feared about, it's like a twerking part, I do it and I can hear all the public going crazy. Me and the team are killing it.
On the last notes of the music, when everyone is in their final pose I do what my coach, together with my teammates, begged me to do. "It would be the cherry on top" they said so I make some step forward, I blow a kiss at the public, wink, turn around and get back to my place walking with a slow walk.

Everyone is shouting and clapping in approval. The routing was a success. We are all so happy but we immediately ave to get back to our spots since the game is about to start again.
I glance at the boys. Their mouths are all touching the ground and they are staring at me with wide eyes. I giggle a little bit and blush.

"I'm cold" I hear Ellie say, he is one of my teammates. It's actually starting to be kinda chilly.
"Ok girls take your sweatshirts and put it on" Mack says to the team.
We rush to the bags to grab the sweatshirts and we put them on, and then we get back to the formation.
I look at Jaden who is smirking at me from his seat.

"You look good" he mimes with his mouth.
"Shut up" I mime back and he just laughs.

The game just ended and we won!
I hug my teammates and I go to the rest of the guys that were waiting for me in the back of the school.
It's unbelievable that no one noticed them, I guess everyone was too excited for the first game of the season.

"You are quitting cheer" josh says coming towards me as soon as he sees me.
"Wait why, was I that bad?" I ask.
"Are you kidding me? You killed it."
"So what's the problem Joshy" I say pouting.
"Th-the problem is that you got all the group drooling over you after that routine, and those are like your brothers, can't imagine what your class mates were thinking. And that skirt is so short, I was about to punch a boy that made a comment but Jaden stopped me" he says rumbling.
"Aww protective Joshy, I love you but I'm not quitting" I say blowing a kiss and going towards the other.

I'm engulfed in a hug.
"Yo that was sick!" Bryce yells.
"Yeah you killed it" this time is Blake speaking and everyone nods.
Jaden comes to hug me. He missed the group hug since he was int he bathroom.
"I told you, you had nothing to worry about" he says and hugs me again tighter.
"Oh and my sweatshirt looks good on you" he whispers in my ear.
I don't say anything back.

We drive back to sway. All the drive the guys were just saying how much they loved it and that they'll come to ever game. They also mention how they wanted to fight a group of kids that was taking about me but they didn't because they promised me and they didn't want to ruin this for me, so I thank them.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" I ask at them when we get home.
"Yeah I already texted mom when we were in the car, Mag is out with someone, I don't really know so she'll go home and come tomorrow" Josh says and I nod. I know where Mag is. Tyler, the guy of our group asked her if she wanted to grab something to eat after the game and she accepted, but it's not my place to tell this to Josh, also because knowing him he would go and look for her in every single food place in town.

"Hey wanna come in my room for a bit?" Jaden asks me when everyone is going to bed, I nod and follow him to his room.
"You were amazing today" he says to me as soon as I close the door behind me.
"Aww Jae thanks"
"No but for real, I couldn't stop staring at you for the entire time" I blush a little when he says that.

I sit on his bed next to him and we stare at the ceiling.
"You know Jae, I feel really happy" I say still looking at the ceiling. I feel him turning his head to look at me.

"In Italy everyone thought I was happy, that I had a nice life, nice friends, and that's true, but only in part" I keep saying, I don't know why I'm telling him this, I just feel so.

"I struggled a lot with mental health, I was so sad, you know my dad died right? I was sadder after years than when it happened. I struggled, and still do sometime, with my body image, I don't really like it, I felt always a burden, I thought I was annoying and I never felt part of a group. " I'm still looking at the ceiling and jaden's eyes are burning through my cheeks while I feel a tear coming down my eyes.

"But now I feel so good, I feel loved, I feel like I have a big family, you guys really made me happy and I'll be grateful to you forever. But you know what? I'm scared as hell. Because when all of this will end I'll crawl back to that state of mind and I'll miss all of this too much." I take a long breath.

"You know for a lot of time I prayed Hod to let me die in my sleep, now I pray him not to, I'm scared that next year when I won't have all of you, I'll pray him to die again." At this point I'm crying and my body is shaking. I don't prepare a speech, I don't even know why I told him all of this, I just did.

He doesn't say anything and he hugs me while I keep crying.
"Shh, I'm here Soph, we are all here. You said it yourself, you are happy now, enjoy your happiness. And you know what, you'll never go back to that state, I promise you, because now you know me, you know us, and also if you'll be back in italy you will have us forever. You know your worth, and you know that you are loved and that people care about you. Your body is beautiful, I know it's hard to see it but trust me. Today you made an entire school almost faint. I, myself, was drooling over you" he says looking at me in the eyes, we are now sit with crossed legs on the bed, one in front of the other. I giggle a little bit to his last exclamation.

"That is the smile I wanna see ok?" He says and I nod.
He puts his tumbs on my cheek to rub away the tears and hugs me again.
We lay back on the bed again.

"You know, for a period of time I felt the same, god I was a mess, I suffered with depression and anxiety and it was bad. You know the thing you said about praying god? I did the same. But it gets better I promise." He says. Now he is looking at the ceiling and I'm looking at him, studying all his facial features.

"Thanks you Jae"
"You said thanks to me more today that since we met" and we both giggle.
"Wanna sleep here? I don't want you alone in your room after all this emotions" he asks me.
"Ok" I mumble. I'm glad, I don't want to go to a dark room alone, I would have just over thinker everything.

"Wanna go to the studio tomorrow?" He asks me.
"Can't go anymore without me Hossler?" I joke.
He pouts at me.
"Of course I wanna come Jae." I say and he hugs me tighter. We fall asleep like this.

I am happy for real now.

Author corner
Heyy here it is another chapter, I hope you like it. Views are going down and I'm kind of sad but it's ok I guess, I'll keep writing the story because it's way to get my feeling out. This chapter it's kind of heart-felt to me so here it is.
I was thinking to tell you the names of some of my favorite Jaden's fanfics.
The first one is for sure Karaoke by luvkayls , and now I'm also so so so invested in heartthrob by yourlocal_vscogirlSK !!