Evanna- Love Me or Don't

We're Nothing?

    Eva's POV:

    Last night when I arrived, we made plans to host a party. Kinda trying to keep it on the down low... some of us aren't quite 18 yet. But whatever. It'll be great. We're inviting pretty much everyone we know. Who knows who will show up, but it should be a fun time.

    For now, we're all just taking some time to rest after traveling and get settled in. I'm lying on my bed with Anna. We're both on our phones, just cuddling together quietly. I'm still so confused over my feelings for her. Like, I've got no chance with her. I really don't think she likes me back. But maybe... I mean, she did kiss me and we had that whole night before the fire.

    Ah, shit. The fire. Every time I remember it, every time I think of it, the guilt hits me like a brick. It's an instant mood killer.

    I let out a sigh and Anna leans her head back to make eye contact with me.

    "Hm?"

    "Nothing."

    "You wanna get up and do something?" No. I'm enjoying lying with her.

    "If you want," I reply.

    We head downstairs to find the other girls spread out around the house. Nobody's really doing much, just watching TV or sitting on their phones.

    I head to the back doors and motion for Anna to follow me. Walking to the pool and dipping our legs in the water, we sit close enough to each other that our shoulders are touching. I rest my head on her shoulder.

    We stay like that for a while, talking softly, just enjoying each other's company. At one point I sit up and turn to look at her. She gazes back at me. Her eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue and I swear I never want to look at anything else.

    Anna's POV:

    This girl's gonna be the death of me. She's so beautiful. She's got this perfectly sculpted face, these gorgeous eyes, this smile that absolutely lights me up inside. We've been sitting by the pool together and my heart rate is a mile a minute. When she sits up, I turn to look at her.

    There's only one thought going through my head right now. And I do it.

    I lean forward and press my lips to hers and the electricity within me right now is insane. Her lips are soft and they meet mine with an intensity that makes me want more and more. I put my arms around her and lean into the kiss, closing my eyes, wishing I could stay in tihs moment forever.

    I can't. The back door slides open with a clang and Eva and I spring apart. Sab stands in the doorway, hand clapped over her mouth. Oh, shit. She points at Eva and then points at me, speechless.

    "You're- really?"

    "No- Sab- this is nothing. This really is nothing," I say, frantically trying to protect Eva. She's not out to them yet. "I- she doesn't want this."

    "That's not what it looks like..." she replies. "You guys know I'll support you? Like, I don't care who you like or who you date."

    "Yeah but like, this is nothing. Okay? So you don't need to tell anyone about this. Just forget it happened." The last part I say to both Sab and Eva. I'm not getting involved in this relationship. It's gonna cause too many complications and I'd rather us stay as good friends than risk ruining everything over a breakup.

    I barge forward into the house, storm up to my room, and shut the door. Fuck. What am I doing? I want her, I do. But I can't. And now me and my dumb decisions just outed Eva. She's probably so upset with me.

    Eva's POV:

    Sab and I are both silent, watching Anna blow past us and disappear into the house. There's an ache in my chest. Nothing? This is nothing? We're nothing? Okay, Anna, way to blow this off.

    She looks back at me.

    "So you're- you like her?"

    "Yeah. Please-"

    "Hang on. Eva. Don't try to explain yourself. It's okay. You love who you love, and I don't have any problem with you for that. You're one of my best friends and I love you no matter what, okay?"

    I step forward and throw my arms around her.

    "Thank you," I whisper, a huge weight coming off my shoulders.

    "Now go deal with your girl," she says, smiling.

    Anna's POV:

    I'm shaking, crying, sitting on my bed. Eva's gonna hate me. And she's gonna feel betrayed, she's gonna feel hurt. Having a relationship with her would cause so many problems. But I'm so desperately in love with her. That's the problem.

    Suddenly there's a soft knock at my door.

    "What?" I say, voice raspy.

    "Hey. Uh, can I come in?" Eva.

    "No." I groan and flop backwards onto my bed.

    "Anna, please?"

    "No."

    My door opens with a creak. She peers in, concerned eyes taking me in.

    "Dude. I told you to leave me alone."

    "Okay, no, Anna, we have to talk."

    I sit up. Stare at her hard. Eva breaks eye contact and looks at the ground.

    "I mean what I told Sab. There is nothing going on between us. Nothing. We're nothing. Now leave me alone."

    Her head jerks up and I see the hurt in her eyes. I look away before I can regret my decision. It's probably one or two minutes of silence before I hear her leave.

    I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so unbearably torn. She's my best friend, she's a wonderful person, she's amazing. But I can't risk anything bad happening. I can't risk hurting her. And maybe I'm hurting her right now, but it'll make things better in the future. She'll realize that eventually.

   
    Eva's POV:

    I'm heartbroken. I've never felt this strongly about a person before. Anna, she has my whole heart. To be kissed like that and then immediately told it's nothing? Shit, that hurts.

    I curl up on my floor, sobbing. Within a few moments of letting out my pained cries, Sab's in my room, lifting me up into her arms, hugging me tight and rocking me back and forth.

    "Let it all out, girl, it's okay. It's okay. I know, I know." I bury my head in her arms, unable to bear the pain. "Ssh, it's okay." She kisses the top of my head and I cry harder.

    She comforts me for over an hour. I don't know what I'd do without her. Eventually she sits me up and holds my face, looking me straight in the eyes.

    "It hurts. I know it hurts. But we've a party tonight. Right? And you have to get ready and show her you don't need her. Prove that to her. Show her she made a mistake. You got me? I'm coming back in 20 minutes and I want to see you up and getting ready."

    "Okay," I whisper. She plants another kiss on my head, tells me she loves me, and spins out of the room. "Okay, Eva. Show her you don't need her."

    I take my time getting up, and head to my closet. I choose a revealing black top and long, high-waisted pants. Right before I hop into the shower, someone knocks on my door.

    "Come in," I call out.

    "Hey queen, just bringing you some water and a cookie."

    "Oh, Sab, you're the best!" I give her another hug and thank her. Once she leaves I hop into the shower. I turn the water scalding hot- sometimes, the physical pain helps to take away the emotional pain.

    I just have to show her I don't need her. And she'll either come back to me, or in time I'll learn how to not need her.