A Slave to Broken Hearts (A Slave to Love Sequel)

Chapter 31: Chocolate Chip

After Eliza's visit, I made a point of finding my phone and putting it to charge so that I wouldn't have to deal with any more surprises and in case--God forbid--anything else shitty happened I could be reached. Kiana was doing better, little by little, but she was still sleeping so much, even though she was waking up more often now. The redness around her tattoo had lessened, but barely.

But doing that meant that, for the first time in possibly two weeks, I was able to check my messages. There were missed calls and texts from Eliza, my parents, Lexi, one message from Ace the day he brought Kiana back that simply said 'I'm bringing her home' and...

Two missed calls from Kiana. Including a voicemail.

She had called me. She had called me while she was hallucinating.

And I didn't answer.

I sat on the edge of my bed, stomach clenching, an ill feeling coming over me.

I didn't want to hear it.

She had called me, probably for help, and I'd slept right through it, too sick from the distance I'd enforced to be of any use. She had needed me and I hadn't been there.

I hit the voicemail button, phone pressed tight to my ear, listening to the automatic machine voice, throat closing tighter with each second. I didn't want to hear it, but I knew I didn't have a choice, not listening to it would be worse.

"Blade? B-Blade please, please call me or-or text me or some-something please-I need to know if you're okay-" she broke off with a desperate gasp for air, like she was drowning, sobbing so hard I could barely make out the words "-please-I know you hate me-just please let me know that you're o-okay I just need you to be okay-"

The message ended there, cutting off with a rustle of noise and static, then abrupt silence till the automatic voice returned.

I hit the button to replay it, nearly crushing the phone in my hand as I listened to her beg me to call her or text her or just talk to her and--

She was crying so hard, she was so terrified, it sounded like she could barely breathe, and I had never felt so sick in my life. I did that to her, put her through all that, and all she wanted was to make sure I was okay? She didn't even ask for my help, she just wanted to check on me. It didn't make any damn sense and each stuttered word, each shaking gasp of breath cut me deeper and deeper.

I lost track of how many times I played the message. Listening to her beg and plead and cry, knowing she was being tortured by hallucinations and pain because of me, made something hot and vicious grow in my chest, spreading through me on each replay, disgust and guilt eating at me from the inside out, festering and rotting.

I couldn't stop listening to her, pushing myself to memorize every single crack in her voice, every sob and gasp and sniffle, the desperation of her voice, her concern only for me even though I caused her to feel this way, to make sure I never did anything to make her feel like that again.

I had no idea how long I sat there on my bed, playing it over and over, hand going numb from how hard I was trying not to break my phone from listening to her suffer because of me. 

"Blade?" came Leo's confused voice from behind my door with a gentle knock. "Are you in there?"

I leapt to my feet, saving the message and hanging up, then wiping my face, which was wet and I hadn't even noticed. "Yes. Why?"

He cracked the door open and peeked in. "Is everything alright? You've been gone a while."

"I'm fine. I was taking a shower and..." my hand clenched, eyes lighting on the pile of books on my nightstand "...thought I might grab a book to read. To help me stay awake to watch Kiana."

"You need sleep too. Don't forget that you getting better-"

"-will help her get better. I know," I said softly. "I'll be there in a sec."

"No rush. I was just checking in," he said with a friendly smile that I didn't deserve, then left with a quiet 'see you later' and shut the door. 

I was a monster. Her voice rang in my ears, even after I composed myself and returned to her room to lie next to her under Lexi's judgmental gaze, it was all I could hear, and all I wanted was for her to get better, but I had no idea how to do it, how to fix it. All I knew was that I'd never make this mistake again.


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