JayDick Oneshots

❌ The Way He Works It

Summary: Jay and Dick are working a case together at the same club, with Jay undercover as a bouncer and Dick undercover as a stripper. For some reason, Jay just can't seem to keep his attention on the case whenever Dick is onstage. [2,422 words]

...........................................................

The complete version of this fic is only available on Archive Of Our Own (for more info on why, please see the Table Of Contents). A link to the fic is provided at the bottom of the chapter, under External Link. If you are not on desktop, please see the link to my AO3 in my bio, or the JayDick Oneshots masterpost on my profile (under the 'Conversations' tab. Scroll to 29 March, 2023) for the direct links to the fics.

...........................................................

A short preview:
.

So it was fair to say Jason was currently regretting his life decisions.

He was undercover as a bouncer at a strip club, which ordinarily wouldn't have been a problem, but Dick was working this case with him and Dick...well, Dick was onstage. And Jason was having a very hard time keeping his eyes off him.

Really, Jason couldn't be blamed — everybody else in the room was equally riveted [...]

Fuck, focus on the case, Jason. He forced his eyes away and looked around the room for a minute before his eyes inevitably strayed back to Dick [...]

As Jason watched, he unbent his legs, and flipped himself upside down, wrapping one leg around the pole and pointing the other straight up before slowly opening it up to the side at a right angle, trailing a hand over his inner thigh.

Yeah, Jason was definitely not gonna make it out of this sane. He'd had a stupid crush on Dick for ages, but this? This was just cruel. Never in his life had he wanted to fuck someone so bad.

He managed to wrench his eyes away again, and it was lucky he did because he saw one of the men they were interested in going into the back. Jason checked the time and made a mental note of it, eyes sliding back to Dick on the pole.

It was a long night to say the least, and by the time Jason's shift was up, Dick had come out for another two terribly distracting twenty minute sets. He went straight to Dick's dressing room after he clocked out, and right as he knocked another bouncer stepped out. 

The man clapped him on the shoulder. "He said he doesn't do hookups, but who knows, good luck." He walked away and Jason blinked after him. What the fuck?

Well, he supposed it wasn't that surprising that people would want to shoot their shot after seeing Dick up there and would assume he was doing the same, but still. No. Jason really couldn't afford to have those kinds of thoughts.

He pushed open the door.

"I literally don't care how big your dick is, I don't wanna fuck you," Dick snapped, putting on his coat.

"It's me."

Dick whirled around. "Oh thank god. Is there a sign on my forehead that says 'please harass me'? Literally both of the owners and every single bouncer besides you and the other new guy has come in here to proposition me. Why?!"

Jason swallowed. "You're...very good at what you do. They still shouldn't have, but that's probably why."

Dick linked their arms and pulled him along out of the dressing room. "Well that's stupid, I'm just doing my fucking job, do they harass all the other strippers like that?"

"Pretty sure it's just you."

Dick scowled. "Lets go get some fucking food, I'm starving. I'll pay, I just got almost four hundred dollars."

"Shit."

"Yeah, I know." Dick pushed open the back door.

The other newly hired bouncer — Seth or Sean or something like that, Jason thought his name was — was smoking a cigarette in the alley, leaning against the brick wall. He looked at the two of them and zeroed in on their linked arms. "Ah, damn." He said, smoke curling out of his lips. "Guess I shouldn't have waited."

Dick narrowed his eyes but didn't correct him, turning and pulling Jason with him down the alley toward the street.

"We need to wrap up the case fast, I can't do this for like a month or something."

Jason definitely didn't think he could do this for that long either, but if he kept getting distracted by Dick it just might take that long. He patted Dick's arm rather than saying anything — he wanted to reassure him but he didn't want to lie.

They went to a nearby diner and discussed the case over burgers.

"...and I, uh, didn't see him come back out. But that doesn't mean he didn't, I might've just missed it."

Dick looked at him disbelievingly. "How were you not watching?"

Jason ducked his head, blushing. "I was...trying," he said weakly. "Just...stuff...distracting."

"What are you, a teenager? You can't pay attention in a strip club?" Dick sighed. "Whatever. Who is it who's so irresistible, so I can try to get my second stage performances at the same time as their main stage and hopefully keep my eyes out."

Jason blushed harder and shook his head, taking another bite of his food so he couldn't speak.

Dick rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll figure it out, what time was it? You said...two fort—" he cut himself off. There was a moment of shocked silence, and then, "Me?"

Jason didn't meet his eyes.

"Nobody was on the second stage for that performance."

Jason swallowed and cleared his throat. "I know."

Dick sat back, his eyes wide. "Wow." He ran a hand through his hair. "I, uhm...really?"

"Yeah. I told you you're really good at what you do."

Dick looked flustered. "Oh, uh, thank you. So you're, like, into me?"

Jason looked at him like he was stupid.

"No, what I'm trying to say is so am I. Into you, not into myself, that would be weird and narcissistic and—"

"No shit?" Jason asked, hesitantly hopeful.

Dick smiled at him. "No shit."

"Awesome."

"If I promise to give you some private shows, do you think you can focus on the case?"

"Yeah," Jason said, a little dazed. And then, "Wait, are you sure this isn't just for the case?"

Dick laughed and reached over to lay his hand over Jason's on the table. "Not a chance, I've wanted this for months."

[...]