Sanders Sides Oneshots

Agent Jolly {Moceit}

He scoffed, "Sure ya did."

- - -

Patton, despite the fact that his job was technically secret, was determined to get Janus to believe him. Enough people had already fallen into the trap of an idea that Santa was fake, so what harm would it do to prove that he did exist to this one Debby Doubter?

One day, he was finally able to talk to the, admittedly cute, boy alone. And as much as he didn't want to, starting off strong seemed like the best way to start. Minus introducing him to Santa via jingle bell phone calls, he went for the major emotional play; Jason.

Janus groaned when Patton entered the kitchen, sticking his head further into the fridge to hopefully ward off conversation, but Patton would not be so easily deterred, "I know you don't believe me, but what if I could prove it? Surely there are some things that I could say that someone new in town wouldn't know?"

The admittedly angsty teen relented, knowing that it would be the fastest way to shut him up, "Knock yourself out," He told the boy, not bothering to look at him, "Literally," He added under his breath.

"Alright," He got comfortable on one of the kitchen stools, "I know about Jason Colt, how he...passed a couple months ago."

Janus did tense at the boy's name, "Everyone within a hundred mile radius knows, it was all over the news," Almost two straight weeks of seeing his face on the tv and some run of the mill update on how the town and his family were coping.

"Okay yeah that was pretty general of me," He admits, "I know that you and him were good friends at school, and even had sleepovers," Janus was about to point out how creepy it is that he knows that when he continued, "I know that you didn't attend his funeral, because you couldn't even imagine seeing him like that. I know that you were closer to him than his baseball teammates. I know that you and him were secretly dating."

He practically slammed the milk carton on the counter. He had never told anyone that, and he knew for sure that Jase hadn't either. There was no way on Earth that this kid knew something that even his own mother wasn't aware of. And yet, he did. Just as Patton had claimed, he revealed information that no 'foreigner' should know.

"Believe me now? I really shouldn't have gone there since I'm sure it's still a sensitive subj-"

"You're damn right you shouldn't have gone there," Janus interrupted harshly.

"But, I also know that you've been bottling up your feelings, which won't help. You don't grieve for someone by pushing away what connection you have, you grieve by remembering them. The good, the bad, all of it. I may not have known Jason, but he certainly seems like someone worth remembering," Patton told him gently. His job was to bring holiday cheer to those that were sad, that had practically given up on the joy of the season, so getting people to open up was his strong suit.

"No sh!t he was worth remembering!" He tried to sound forceful, but the tears that had welled up in his eyes made it hard to do so, "But remembering hurts, a lot, so don't try to talk to me about what's good and not good for me because you don't know what it's like! Okay?! He was the most amazing person I've ever met and now he's gone because we were all too stupid to see just how far gone he was!" A sob escaped Janus involuntarily, "Dammit..." He choked out. He should not be telling a glorified stranger this, should not be feeling so sh!tty when Jase obviously had it worse when he was still alive.

He didn't see Patton get up, but it was hard to miss the hug that he was enveloped in. It was gentle, so he could push the boy away if he wanted, but by gods did he not want to.

"I do know what it's like to lose someone you care about," Patton spoke quietly, as if scared he would break whatever fragile moment they were in, "It's hard to cope with the fact that they're gone, and you never truly get over it, over them, but it gets easier to live with. Depending on your beliefs you'll get to see him again someday though, which is something I think about a lot. Just don't let yourself fall into the same rut that he did, because there are plenty of people who would miss you."

Janus never let himself be seen as vulnerable in public, it was part of the reason he hadn't come out yet. If people knew he was insecure about liking guys, they could use that against him. It took a lot for someone to earn his trust and even then, none of his friends knew all of his secrets. But, just this once, he let himself break down in the arms of a boy he had met only yesterday.

"I miss him, so much," Part of Janus hated how weak he sounded, the rest of him couldn't convince him to care as he was overwhelmed with all the memories of late night cuddles with his secret boyfriend.

"And there's nothing wrong with that," Patton assures him, keeping his voice remarkably steady considering the tears that steadily made their way down his own face, "It means you care about him."

Janus didn't know why that sentence made him laugh, it wasn't funny by any means, but it did. He laughed while crying his eyes out as he tightened his grip on the other, not noticing how that caused the 'secret agent' to blush. He underestimated how much he needed this, and if Patton would be sticking around much longer, he certainly wouldn't mind hugging him again.

A/N: Damn, I wanted tot-hearted Christmas oneshots because I realized that I hadn't done any, but nooo my mind gave me this idea. Next oneshot should be the Demus request