2011
June 4
Justice
I was at the cemetery for hours just sitting with Mia. I think one of the real reasons I can't get past anything is because of Mia. I wish she was still alive so I could ask her why. I was just angry at everything because I don't know who I can trust.
"I wish you were alive sometimes so I can ask you some questions I feel like you wouldn't lie but then again you lied my whole life so I don't know. Just know that I love you."
I walked back to my car and turned the heat on immediately because I was freezing cold. I had turned my phone off because I didn't feel like dealing with anyone, but when I turned it back on I saw all the missed calls and messages.
"Oh shit." I knew nika would be mad because she knows i'm pregnant but for her to call my parents I knew I was gonna get cussed all the way out.
I looked at Anika's location and she was at my parents house which was about twenty minutes away from here. I made my way over there and as I pulled up in the driveway the door opened.
"Baby! Baby! You okay?!" Anika asked running over to me caressing my face. "Yes babe I'm fine."
"Good so when I smack the shit outta you, you won't be bad!" Janet came walking down the steps over towards us.
"Justice where did you go? You had your fiancé scared outta her mind! I never would have thought Anika would be knocking on our door so late."
"Me either." I whispered. "Well I'm fine can we just go home now please." I asked Anika.
"No! What's wrong with you?! Girl your phone was off that's what scared me the most. I had no way of knowing where you where."
"I was fine look I'm tired and cold, I can't afford to get sick."
"Go home Justice I'll be right behind you." Anika said walking over to her car. I walked over to my car and didn't say anything to Janet or Toni. I pulled off and headed home.
Janet
I walked back into the house and closed the door. Toni started to walk up the stairs with me behind her.
"It's cold as shit! Tone don't think I forgot you pushed me off the bed earlier!" I said low but loud enough for her to hear.
"Janet that's because you said some stupid shit that's why." She said laughing. "Stupid? I think it's very logical! Come on baby think about all the risks we'll be taking if you do carry. I'm not losing my wife just to have a baby that's not going to happen."
"You won't lose me."
"You're right I won't because I'm having the baby, end of conversation." Toni rolled he eyes and climbed into the bed.
"Come on over here you know you want to." I said smiling at Toni.
2011
august 3
"Janet come here! Why are you running?" Toni said running after me. We did our insemination last month and Toni thought I should take a pregnancy test today being that it's been a month.
"Because what if I'm not pregnant?"
"We can try again or do IVF next time, but baby we'll never know if you don't take the test!" She sung walking over to me.
"Wait! Wait! Baby I gotta.... pee! Yeah that's it." Still trying to find a way out of this. There were somethings Toni just didn't know about my health. I was surprised when I got pregnant with the twins in one try, but now that I'm older this will be a hundred times harder.
"Janet are you high?! You've got to be kidding me!"
"Well Toni-"
"No no because you must be that would explain this! Janet if you didn't want a baby why didn't you just say that?"
"Oh god Toni I'm not high I haven't smoked in months! It's just complicated baby... I'll take it give it here." I said shaking my head and walking into the bathroom.
"I'll stay out here." Toni said closing the door behind me. I looked into the mirror and noticed tears had started running down my face. This shit was dejavu and I hated it.
I took the tests and sat against the door so Toni couldn't come in. I just needed sometime to get myself together, my eyes were red and my heart was in my ass. I could barely fucking breathe.
"Babe are you okay? What's happening?" I couldn't answer her because I couldn't breathe let alone compose a sentence.
"It's been over three minutes now.... it's okay if it's negative baby we can try again. This doesn't make me love you any less, we are a little older then before." She snickered.
I started to hyperventilate a little and started to bang against the door so she could come in.
"Janet! Baby what's wrong? I can't open the door!" She said trying to push it open but I was sitting against it. I gathered enough strength to get up and she immediately busted through the door.
"Janet what happened?" I didn't bother to answer her, instead I ran out of the bathroom into the room, down the stairs and outside.
I needed some fresh air... come on Janet breathe. Breathe!! What the hell is wrong with me. I turned around because I heard Toni call my name but I turned in slow motion.
I could see two skies and the trees were more then they ever were before, I could've sworn I stumbled a bit, but that was confirmed when I hit the ground. I tried to get back up but the ground was shaking.
"What's happening to me?" I whispered to myself but I'm assuming Toni heard it as a scream because her eyes widened. I finally stood up and ran to the nearest bush and threw everything I ate from at least the last two days up.
When I stood up I couldn't stop rocking back and forth. Someone had touched me causing me to flinch and back away almost falling in the bushes.
"Ma it's me Justice." All of a sudden everything came back to reality. I looked from Justice to Toni who was clearly terrified and I could do nothing but run away. I ran to the only place where I knew I could let everything go and just talk.
"Janet?! Oh my sweetie I haven't seen you in so long!"
"Hey mother." We sat and we talked for hours and it felt good to let everything out and not be judged or told what you should do about it, I missed times like these.
"You were only a baby Jay you couldn't have done anything different." She said holding me.
"I could've waited, I just I don't know. The twins were a surprise and I'm greatful for that but today I had an outer body experience. I scared myself I know I scarred Toni and probably Justice."
"It'll be alright baby just go lay down upstairs and I'll make you some tea." She said getting up and walking into the kitchen.
no pov
Janet was upstairs for ten minutes when she started to dose off. Janet's mother was downstairs making tea but also calling Toni and Justice letting them know that Janet was there. When Katherine finally made it upstairs Janet was sleep, so she placed the tea and saltine crackers on the side of the bed and left her alone so she could sleep.
"Mama K!" Was heard throughout the whole house when Katherine left out of the room.
"Toni baby I'm upstairs!" Toni came running up the stairs and hugged her mother in law.
"She's sleeping right now, you can go in and lay with her she's probably out for the night." Toni nodded her head and walked into the dark room and smiled when she saw Janet sleeping.
Toni was very worried about Janet after what happened earlier. It warmed her heart to see her getting some sleep. She walked over to the bed and took her shoes off and climbed behind Janet. She wrapped her arms around her and snuggled into her neck.
Janet shifted around a little before she pulled Toni closer....if that was even possible.
"I love you Toni." Before Toni could respond Janet drifted back to sleep and began snoring lightly. Toni laughed and kissed Janet's head.
"I love you too Janet.... both of you."
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somethings wrong with Janet... what you think it is? 🤸🏽♀️
