Why? - a Drarry Fanfic

Chapter 34

Harry

Snape's has been here for two weeks now, and I surprisingly don't mind that much. But, he doesn't live in his quarters. He lives in Remus's. I still don't like him that much. I'm willing to try and be civil with him, if he ever comes out of his damned room.

"So why doesn't he leave his room?" I ask. Draco shrugs. "He does. Sometimes."

"Why never when I'm there?"

"I don't think he's ready to talk to you yet." He turns and continues to write his Potions essay. Talk to me yet? What does he want to talk about? He's apologized, it's not like we can get anywhere if we don't talk. "But he told me he wants to try and talk to you later on."

Speaking of living with Remus...

"So has he told you why he won't live in his own damned quarters?" I ask without thinking. He looks at me like I'm an idiot. "Harry, he's been tortured for months. Of course he wouldn't want to be alone."

"Yeah, but-"

"They have figured it out, Harry. They are both grown men, and we are not going to have a row over this, understand? I know you don't like him. He doesn't like you that much either, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with each other's bullshit."

Wh- Half of the time it's his bullshit I have to deal with! He's bullied me since day one! Also, why don't I get to know anything?! Some prick just came back from the dead and everyone's acting as if he wasn't a complete arse when he was 'alive'. It's not like I want everyone to just shun him and act like he's not here, but acting like he's done nothing...

Really?

What the hell?

"Harry, me and Sev are having a talk about some stuff, and he said you could come. Do you want to?" I'm about to answer when he interrupts. "And I mean talk. There will be no shouting, no arguing, no nothing. You both have awful tempers, but you've both been through loads of shit, so maybe that won't be a problem this time."

I can agree to those terms. "Sure."

"Alright. Let's go."

The walk is short and silent, and for once I don't mind. He takes my hand in his and puts both in his pocket. "Harry, I want you to know that I'm not going to choose between you two," he says. It shouldn't, but him saying that makes me feel better.

I was just the kid who bullied him, the stupid Gryffindor who got in the way, who almost killed him in sixth year. Snape on the other hand has been with him since he was at least five or something. If he had to choose he would leave me first, and I'm not sure how I would deal with that.

It probably wouldn't be pretty.

"Remember. No fighting, no being an arse. Got it?"

"Yeah, Dray. I got it."

He knocks on the door with his free hand. "Who is it?"

"It's Harry and I, Sev." I hear him unlocking the door. He opens it slightly and looks at us both before he opens the door and lets us inside. I feel something in my gut, I don't know what it is, but I feel sorry for him.

I really do.

"Why'd he come?" Snape asks quietly. He sits on the window seat and curls his legs up to his chest. He doesn't look at us. "I want to talk."

"About what?" I don't have an answer for that. Maybe I should? "I don't really know."

"Draco?"

"Remember? I wanted to bring Harry along to see if you two could talk, maybe reach a common ground. I'm really just here because otherwise you two might tear each other's heads off in less than two minutes. Remus is in his room if you want him here as well." He shakes his head mumbles something along the lines of 'it's fine'. "So, why don't you take turns asking questions or something?"

We share a look. Who's going first? Where are his boundaries at? Where are my boundaries at? 

"You can go first," he mumbles. 

Bloody fuck, I wanted him to go first! What am I supposed to say?

"Well... um... why... why are you living with Remus, I guess?" Ah yes, a totally normal question anyone would ask. Very common, bloody perfect job, Potter.

"I... I don't want to be alone down there."

I think I'm sick. I'd rather have the old, cruel, annoying potions teacher instead of whatever... this is. 

"Why did you two get together?" His voice cracks mid-sentence and his face goes red. How do I answer this? 'Oh, well I noticed in sixth year on the tower he wasn't a prick, then in seventh year he saved my life multiple times and over the summer I maybe started liking him or something and then I almost chucked myself off a tower and he saved me'?

Yeah, doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

"Some stuff happened... I guess I started liking him or something during the summer... we just sort of... did." Not a whole truth, but it technically isn't a lie, so... I guess it's okay?

"Huh."

"So..."

It starts off as awkward questions from both of us, and stupid answers. It's weird, I don't like this, and I doubt he does.

"So... I was wrong?"

"What?"

"About you. About you being a king, being just like your father?" He sounds like he regrets it, like he's sorry, and he wants to be better. 

I want to be better.

"I can't blame you. It's my fault she died, and I look just like him."

"'Wasn't your fault," he whispers. "You were one. What were you supposed to do?"

Die before I was born...

No. Harry James Potter, you aren't going back to that, we aren't going there again. You have a good life right now. You don't want to die, you're glad that you've been born, so stop.

Just stop.

"I'm sorry." It comes out before I can stop. "For what?"

"For just... for just... I knew what my dad did and I still defended him. My temper was horrible."

"I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Why?"

"What did you go through at home? Shit. Utter shit. Then look at what I did, what I let other people did."

"You didn't-"

"I... That fucking happened to me and I couldn't see the signs. I could see the signs with my snakes, with some Hufflepuffs, but not you. Because of that stupid prat James Potter." I try to respond but he continues. "Because of who your father was. I helped Draco, but I didn't help you. I knew what the Dursleys could get like, but did I do anything? No. I knew Albus wasn't checking up on you, but did I do anything? No!"

"Stop it! I don't care about that stupid shit, okay? No one did anything. Hell, me and Draco used to claw at each other's throats, and now we're dating. Stop tearing yourself up. I know firsthand it doesn't help."

"But-"

"I've been through worse." Wow. I'm taking charge for once. Way to go, Potter. "And sure. It'll take time. We probably won't ever be great friends or whatever, but let's just be civil."

"So everything I've done?"

"Won't disappear. It still happened and I'm still mad that it did, but again. I'm dating Draco Malfoy. I think I can at least act civil to you."

"Wow, Hare. Being the bigger person?" Draco mumbles. "Shut it. I'm always the bigger person."

Maybe this won't go as bad as I thought?