Chapter 8

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A/N: this chapters gonna start out as Remus, but then go to Harry near the middle, and it's going to be shorter than the others. Sorry for the wait, I've been busy with school stuff even tho its cancelled. Sorry, my writing sucks, I'm trying to get better at it.                                   -Phoenix

Remus

School starts for real today, and I haven't seen Harry since Saturday. I need to find him so I can understand what's going on. As far as I've heard, no one has seen him this morning. I didn't see him at the feast.

I pull out my schedule, and see who I have first period. Eighth years, all houses. This is perfect. I start to form a plan to talk to Harry, see for real whats wrong. It can't just be this stupid crush on Malfoy. Something happened, or something is happening.

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My eyes scan across the room, again landing on Harry and Draco. They drift to Hermione and Ron, who both look highly annoyed, and confused. Harry must've noticed me looking, because he returned my look and raised his hand a little. "Yes, Mr. Potter?" 

"Could I go to the bathroom?" 

I stare at him, not sure if I should let him. What if he tries something? In the end, I give him a small nod and he bolts, almost knocking over his chair. The entire class 'tries' to hide their laughter, 'failing' miserably.

The laughter dies down, and Malfoy raises his hand. 

"Can I go to the bathroom, sir?"

After I give him a nod, I see him put his wand in his pocket and leave. Does he share my suspicions? That Harry is going to pull something?

If Harry does I just hope Malfoy can put a stop to it.

Harry

After Remus gives me a nod, I attempt to bolt, but fail, almost knocking over the chair. Everyone laughs, except Draco, Hermione and Ron. 

Way to go, you stupid faggot. Can't even stand up right.

I get out, and I sprint to the closest bathroom. 

First day of fucking school, and I can't do anything right. Why don't I just die already. 

I go to the very last stall and sit on the floor. My hand plunges into my pocket and grips the handle to the blade. I won't die today, I need to at least leave a note when I do, to let everyone know why.

And to let Draco know why. What he showed me last night, that he was the same as me sometime, but he's getting better, that could never happen to me. 

You stupid, broken, piece of shit. Look at you. Your unfixable. Idiotic. You really think they're your friends? Think about it, they were probably happy when you didn't visit. 

My thoughts are swarming my brain, my head pounding. I press the cold blade against my wrist, pressing hard. The blood comes almost instantly, forming a small river. I repeat this again on the same wrist and my other. I can't even explain it, but I need to feel this pain to get rid of the rest, even if it is just for these few moments.

I finally put the blade down and look at my work. 

Great job, dumb ass. In a few months, you won't even be here, so why are you stalling? 

Because. Even though I want it so much, you stupid voice, it scares me half to death.

As I'm drowning in myself, I hear knock on the door. 

"HARRY, OPEN UP!!!" 

Is that Draco? Why is he here? 

"Baneles" I magic myself some bandages and hide the blade again in my pocket. I slowly unlock the door, and peek out. "H-Hi..." 

He looks worried and pissed. "Don't 'Hi' me. Harry, I could hear you sobbing. What's wrong."

I can't tell him. I can't worry someone else.

No one can know until I did it, and my story has ended.....





Which will happen soon... 

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