Payne in the Ass

5. The Best Squeezers in the World.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING IF YOU'RE AMERICAN! :D Okay, so I wrote this chapter yesterday but then my laptop decided to be an arse and delete 5 pages of it. I had to rewrite them all. I was not happy. Not happy at all.
Anyways, LITTLE MIX'S ALBUM IS SO AMAZING HSIDOGFHSDIOHFGIS. Go listen to it right now. It's amazing. I changed Fae's faceclaim because Zoe Sugg doesn't seem very popstarish. Chances are I'll probably change her faceclaim a lot. I'm very indecisive. >.<

The interview in this chapter is based off both Little Mix's and One Direction's most recent interviews with the Chatty Man. 

Outfits for the girls in the sidebar as well as the dance the girls do in this chapter. -> 

Vote if you love me. ;D

:* xx

 

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Fae’s POV.

I woke up to the sound of ducks quacking. Yes, that’s my alarm. DON’T JUDGE ME. I groaned and grabbed my phone, checking the time, and turning the alarm off. 5:10 AM. Why does this time even exist? What sane person is up at this hour? Time to wake up the girls, I guess. Honestly, I’m scared. You don’t want to mess with them in the morn. (Only Kool Kats say morn.) Especially Sammi. I’d rather break up an evil llama fight than wake up that kid. 

I sighed and swung my feet off the side of the king sized bed. At least I didn’t wake up in the arms of Mr. I-Think-I’m-All-Cool-Because-I-Have-2-More-Nipples-Than-Normal-People. I stuck pillows in between us to act as a barricade last night to prevent any physical contact with him. I’m a clever Kool Kat. YEAH, ALLITERATION! Sorry. 

Stretching, I reluctantly flung myself off the bed. Flung. Because getting off the bed like regular people isn’t the Kool Kat way. You have to be original. I dragged my feet across the floor to the door and opened it up like a dead cat. I just wanted to run back under the duvet and hibernate. That’s my lifelong dream. To hibernate over the Winter. But then I’d have to fatten myself up, so maybe it’s not a good idea. Oh, well. STILL DOING IT.

I sluggishly worked my way over to Sammi and Niall’s room and opened the door quietly, as to not wake up the leprechaun. Yes, even though I’m Irish too, I’m still calling him a leprechaun. Sammi was curled up in a ball across from Niall’s head, with all the blankets wrapped around her. Niall was left exposed to the cold air and was shivering like something that shivers. Sammi’s a selfish sleeper. I walked over to her side and poked her face. Nothing. I poked it again. 

“Sammi. Get up, babe. It’s time to go get whipped into shape because apparently we aren’t healthy.” We had a work out on our schedule this morning

Sammi let out a zombie sound, which was followed by a mumbled, “Nooooooo. Go away. I refuse.”

“Samantha Wednesday Edwards, get your ass out of bed right now.”

Another zombie sound. She sounded like a lifeless pussy cat who’s been run over by a llama driving a tractor and peed on by a mutant kangaroo-unicorn

I sighed and decided to give her a moment, heading to Eponine and Liam’s room. Eponine was intertwined with Liam. Why does she even bother trying to get along with these stupid pop stars from a stupid boy band. Stupid. Did I overuse stupid, or..? Their egos make Russia look like the dot on an ‘i’. Her face looked a bit angry in her sleep.