Payne in the Ass

Eppylogue

You silly turkeys, you didn't think I'd let Fae and Harry's unfinished business stay unfinished? I don't know why I called you silly turkeys. I literally have no explanation for myself.

Anyways, thank you so much for your support for my grandmother, my retiring, my stories, basically with everything! Each and every one of you are all so special and so amazing. I couldn't wish for cooler fans. So with that being said, I give you the last bit of Payne in the Ass, the epilogue. Or as I lamely named it, the 'Eppylogue'. (See what I did there? I'm patting myself on the back.)

P.S. The automatic story-wide tags are making me laugh but that's kind of irrelevant.

P.P.S I NEED TO STOP TALKING, BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT! People have messaged me about making their own sequel to PITA. I don't want to say yes to one person and no to everyone else, so I would literally LOVE and PEE MYSELF if any of you really did want to carry through with writing one! Message me if you do and I'll share it! Another important thing and PLZ DO THIS OR I'LL LOOK LIKE AN AWKWARD LOSER, I'd love to answer any of your questions about my retirement or the future of my characters or myself or anything in general! Just message me, comment here, post on my profile any of your questions and I'll make another chapter here for it! Now to the real chapter because this P.P.S. is so long I'm even putting myself to sleep.

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SOME TIME LATER IN THE FUTURE I'M NOT REALLY SURE I DIDN'T REALLY BOTHER DOING THE MATH

FAE'S POV

All I could think about was how much I hate life. This was worse than the time I forgot saying 'swaggie' wasn't really socially acceptable and said it when I met Lady GaGa.

That's when you know you've hit rock bottom.

Eponine and Liam were twirling around on the dance floor by themselves, Liam's face turning red every time his foot accidentally stepped on hers, causing Eppy to giggle shamelessly at her new husband. The rest of the room was dimly lit and all eyes were on the happy couple. Other than his awful dancing, it was kind of cute watching Liam's lips mouth the words to his bride from some stupid, cliche love song they chose as their first dance.

I hated them just as much as I hated life. Stupid happiness.

"Do you want to dance?" I tore my gaze from the lit up dance floor to the direction the voice came from. Next to my assigned place at the round table topped with a towering bouquet of flowers that screamed love and made me want to puke, sat boybander Louis Tomlinson.

I examined Louis and his also miserable face, making me like him a little bit more since he was in the same boat as me. Now nice of him to offer me a dance so I don't have to sit here like a heartbroken loser.

"No." I shot him down anyways. My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow and I'm already too depressed enough to where the last thing I need is pictures floating around the internet of me booty bumping Tomlinson. "Thanks, though." I added emotionlessly, feeling a bit awful that I refused.

"No problem." He resonded back, just as emotionless as I did. I turned back around, seeing Eppy and Liam's first dance had stopped and people had joined them on the dance floor. I spotted Sammi and Niall amongst the crowd, making fools of themselves. I still didn't know what the deal between the two of them was. Sometimes they seemed like just friends, sometimes a little more than that. I barely had the time to ask anymore since we were all very busy individually with our lives and careers. The girls and I were taking a temporary break from Furious Antics so Eppy could enjoy her life as Mrs. Payne and Sammi could train herself to win the big taco eating contest in South Shields, and so I could wallow in my own bucket of tears and release my own music on the side. I'm totally kidding. About the tacos.