I just realized I forgot to write this chapter so let's squeeze it in here wood and by wood, I meant woo. Stupid phone water you doing.
UFGIFJFIUG I HAVE A THEATRE PERFORMANCE TOMOROOW (WOW GOOD JOB PHONE DO U WANT AN AWARD FOR THAT?? actually my performance was last week bc im still writing this chapter oops) AND IM PEEING MYSELF CONVULSIBG AHH I CABR TYPE I MEABT CAN'T OKAY YHIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE.
Moving on. The next chapter's a Farry and I already have everything planned out after that! Weeheeey (✿◠‿◠)
(except i lost my planning paper oops)
What do you call a tweaking pig?
Beef jerky.
xx
~I DON'T HAVE FLOWERS LALALA~
[FLASHBACK TO WOLVERHAMPTON DAYS YO]
Eponine's POV
"Eppy."
"Holla."
"Babe, you've been standing here forever. Are you ready to go in yet?"
"No."
Liam sighed. "She'll love you! Ruth did."
"Yer mam's not Ruth."
He chuckled and brought the hand of mine he was holding and pressed his lips to it.
This is why I want to shove a brick up Liam Payne's nose.
Can he not? Ugh, perfect men and perfect faces and perfect voices and perfect bodies and perfect manners and perfect pink (a manly pink, of course) lips and perfect brown puppy dog eyes and perfect hair and perfect laughs and perfect everything.
I. Smiley face. Hate. Smiley face. Liam. Smiley face. Payne. Smiley face. So. Smiley face. Much. Smiley face, exclamation point, one one one one.
But we love each other, so no big deal.
HEAD SWIVEL THAT'S RIGHT.
IT HAPPENED.
Insert awkward bootylicious twerking here.
I am no longer a loser ugly duckling.
I am a freaking swan.
A butterfly.
A parasaurolophus.
....Don't ask.
But yeah. Liam and I told each other we loved each other. We're just cool like that.
It's been the best twenty six minutes (and 7.5 seconds, not that I'm counting) of my life
And so here we stood. After our walk, Liam suddenly could not wait whatsoever to introduce me to Mama Payne.
I was scared to say the least. A bit fright. Even more scared than Fae was when she locked herself in the bathroom stall at the London Dungeon. Good time. (Sammi and I laughed at her and ditched Fae because we're awful friends. It will never not be funny. In still laughing to this day. Yes, that laughter in the back of your mind is me. MWAHAHAHA.)
He turned me to face him and used his index finger to tilt my face upwards by my chin so I had to look into his heart melting eyes. "You'll be fine, love."
THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP.
NO, THAT IS NOT A RABBIT.
THAT IS MY HEART.
YOU ARE READING
Payne in the Ass
Fanfictionthree girls. five guys. bad jokes. one awful parody. "I seriously could not put this book down." -A person whose hands were glued to this book, even though it's impossible considering this is virtual. "The best wattpad story I've ever read!" -Somebo...
