Together, Forever (Sanders Sides College AU)

Chapter 22: I still love him

TW: (for rest of the story pretty much) eating disorder and mental breakdowns

*Logan POV*

I sink down to the floor and bury my face in my arms. I take off my glasses and let several tears slip down my face and into my shirt.

I hear Roman swear under his breath as he goes to make a call.

"Hey, Pat-"

I don't hear the rest of what he says. But 10 minutes later, my door bursts open.

"WHO HURT MY SMART CHILD?!"

It's Patton. He rushes over to me, crushing me in a hug. I don't know what to say.

"..Pat, nobody hurt him. I just told him about Virgil," Roman mumbles, "And why does he get to be the smart child?"

Patton turns away from me for a second. I don't hear any words spoken, but I know Patton must have at least glared at him before turning back to me.

"Lo, Logan, it's ok. He's going to be ok. This isn't your fault," He says in a comforting tone.

"Y-yes it is!" I sob.

"Shh, it's not. It's not. I promise you," Patton says, hugging me tightly.

I wiggle out of his grip. I don't like hugs anymore.

"Logan-"

"No! This is my fault. If I hadn't acted like a child maybe we could have worked things out and he wouldn't be- be-" I stutter at the last part.

"Kiddo, this is not your fault," Patton says.

"Well, it's certainly not his. I caused this. So it is my fault," I say.

More tears. I'm glad I took off my glasses, otherwise, they'd be soaking.

"Lo-" Patton trails off, "Roman, call Emile or someone. I have no clue how to handle this,"

Roman steps out of the room for several minutes while Patton tries to comfort me. Needless to say, it doesn't work.

"I should have been better. If I had just cared then he wouldn't have doubted me and this is my faul-"

"Logan, look at me," Patton says, taking my hands, "Breathe,"

I shakily nod and try. How Virgil manages to do this while he's in a bad state- oh god his bad state it because of me.

"Roman, please hurry up out there!" Patton half-shouts.

*Virgil POV*

Patton rushed out of the apartment a while ago. He didn't say why, and when he doesn't it's because it's Logan. So I've been here for the past 20 minutes having a breakdown because Logan might not be ok and this could be my fault and if he's not they won't tell me because I might have another breakdown and oH GOD LOGAN MIGHT NOT BE OK-

My phone buzzes, snapping me out of my panic. I rush over to the couch and try to find it in the mess of blankets.

"Hello?! Is he ok?!" I ask.

Roman's calling, but I know he's at Logan's. It seems he and Patton have a code for when he's going to his place as to not upset me, which I appreciate. 

"Who are you referring to?" Roman asks.

"My boy- Logan!" I say.

I'm so glad he can't see how red I am right now.

"Yeah, speaking of which you need to get here now. And bring some food to prove you're eating,"

"You're funny," I say dryly, "I'm on my way,"

I do grab a granola bar, which I eat on the way out. Only half, but still. I don't think I can stomach anymore. 

I rush out the door, quadruple checking that I have my key, money, and phone. I do. I definitely do.

I rush out to the bus stop. It can't get here any faster.

It takes five minutes for the bus to arrive, which is great, but I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I wish I stayed on the call for more details. Maybe then I wouldn't be panicking so much. Or maybe I'd be panicking more, I don't know.

I rush off the bus when we stop. The building is just across the street.

I start to speedwalk across the street. I hear a car honk and I turn. My adrenaline takes over and I stumble back, narrowly avoiding the car and doing a 180. I am going to lose it.

I'm cursing myself in my head right now. The building is just a few feet away, so I rush in, ignoring the concerned glances from the people around me. 

I'm about to rush up the stairs when a hand grabs me and pulls me back.

"You aren't allowed on the premises," May says.

Since when?

"I'm here to visit a friend. Now let go!" I say, yanking my hand away from her.

Her grip tightens. It's as strong as Amy's grip. Wait.

"You were banned from the property when you were kicked out," May says.

I don't remember that part but it's kinda hard to argue with her, as she's physically dragging me out the door.

"Come back again and you will regret it," She says.

Wow. When did she get so harsh? 

*Roman POV*

"Where is he? He should be here by now," Patton hisses.

I shrug helplessly.

"How am I supposed to know?" I ask

Logan lets out a small choked sob. I called Virgil a half hour ago, asking him to come. A. Half. Hour. 30 minutes. 

"Kiddo, it's going to be-" Patton starts.

"No. It's not. He's not coming because it's my fault he doesn't care anymore," Logan says, his voice dead-sounding.

He swats away Patton's hand. Somehow that and his tone of voice are much worse than the sobbing.

"Roman, go downstairs and keep an eye out for him," Patton says.

I nod and rushed out of the room. I speed down the stairs where I find May sitting in the common room, sipping on tea.

"Have you seen Virgil by any chance? Has he come over here yet?" I ask.

She shakes her head. I sigh and pull out my phone.

"Virge, are you even coming?" I ask.

"Yeah, I did. And got kicked out," He says.

I glance and glare at May. She pretends not to notice.

"Well, get back here. This is kinda important," I say.

If Logan is showing a bunch of physical emotions it's important.

"I. Can't. I'm banned from the place," Virgil says.

"What? Why?" I ask

"Ask the landlady, she's the one who banned me," Virgil says.

I let out a frustrated groan.

"Fine," I say.

I won't be able to update Saturday and Sunday, and possibly tomorrow. Sorry! I hope you enjoyed reading, and feel free to leave any thoughts or feedback in the comments. Have a fantastic day/night you magnificent peep!