Found(A HitsuKarin Fanfic) BOOK 1

Chapter 11, Do You Know What It's Like?

It was sometime after two in the morning when Karin woke up with a start, voices screaming loud inside her head.

she didn't just hear them though, she saw and felt them, and there was nothing she could do, because these lost souls had already been devoured. It was always like this though, she never stopped hearing them. 

Ever.

They were never silent.

She covered her ears with her hands, whispering, "please, just shut up."

Most of the time she could ignore them, but sometimes on nights that were quiet and peaceful to all others, that's when they seemed to scream the loudest. It was at times like this when she wished that she weren't an Empath. 

It wasn't just souls that had been devoured that she saw, heard, and felt, it was souls in general, humans even, Soul Reapers as well. Even Souls all the way in the Soul Society. Having power was useless when it came to being an Empath, their were so many people, so many souls she couldn't help, she could only watch, she could only feel, and she could only hear.

Tears pricked at her eyes as she tried her best to ignore them.

'Calm down and breathe.' Shionnei says as Karin scrambles up in  rush, she need to calm herself, to quiet her mind.

Karin glances at a sleeping Toshiro before going to stare out the window.

'They are so loud Shionnei.'

'Then don't just hear them, listen to them.' She tells Karin and she sighs.

'But that's just it Shionnei, I don't want to hear them, or listen to them.'

'It's not really your choice though.'

'She had a point.' Karin thought.

Karin takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she closes her eyes.

"Ahhh!" She hears a young girl scream, tuning into it, listening.

Then she sees; The girl is running from a hollow, her long blonde hair flying all around her as she runs, her blue eye filled with terror.

And lastly, she feels. She feels everything the girl does, her panic and fear, her pain and sorrow, her pleas and cries, and she feels her tears as they cascade down her face in rapid succession. She feels her death, she feels it all as the hollow captures her in its clutches, she feels it while the monster devours the poor girls soul. She feels it all and can do nothing to stop it, just like always, she could see their memories, feel them, hear them, but never could she help them.

'Calm.' She has to tell herself, because it's all she can do not to be pulled into the never ending cycle of emotions that always threaten to take her over.

"Karin?" Suddenly her eyes snap open at the sound of his voice, but she does not turn around, "Karin?" His voice says again, "Are you okay?"

'You should answer him before he starts to worry.' Shionnei tells her.

'He's already worried.' Karin replies, feeling everything around her, the shift in air as he moves forward.

"Karin?" Toshiro is standing right in front of her now.

She looks up slowly, locking eyes with him immediately, "Do you know what it's like to be an Empath Toshiro?" She questions, not giving him a chance to even answer before she continues, "Do you know what's it like to see things that you can't do anything about, even if you have power? To hear constant voices screaming inside your head, so much so that you can't even distinguish your own thoughts from theirs. Do you know what it's like to be able to feel everything, every emotion, sound, and even movement, every thought, every feeling? Do you know what it's like to constantly be at war with yourself?" Karin continues to stare at him, waiting for his reply, waiting for him to either call her crazy and leave, or to take her hand and follow her into hell.

Toshiro is silent for moment, taking in her words before he finally speaks, "Where's all this coming form Karin?"

"Did you know that I can see auras?"

"No."

"Well I can," She turns her head to look out the window, "and sometimes on the quietest of nights when the voices seem to scream the loudest, I sometimes like to stare out the window at all the different auras, if only to calm my nerves." She pauses, turning back to Toshiro, waiting a beat, her piercing gaze drawing Toshiro in completely. "If not controlled, the voices, the thoughts, the feelings can make any normal person go insane almost instantly. It's utter hell, because it's not just your own head you are stuck in, it is theirs too."

"Can you read me?" Toshiro suddenly asks her while stepping closer.

"What?" She wasn't expecting him to respond like that.

"My thoughts, my emotions, Can you tell me what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling?"

"Yes, but I try not to do that. Personal space and all." Karin nods.

"I'm giving you permission," her takes another step closer, "Tell me Karin. What am I feeling? what am I thinking?"

"I ca..._"

Toshiro shakes his head, stopping her, "Please Karin, because I don't even know anymore. When I look at you all I can see is you and only you. When I think about you, all I can think about after is you. So please tell me Karin." He practically begs.

She bites her bottom lip, but complies non the less, "your emotions are all over the place honestly, there is a deep love, and longing, confusion, fear and anger, pride and jealousy. You are very complex."

"Okay," he nods, "and what am I thinking?" He questions closing the gap between them.

"That you want to kiss me." She answers immediately...And then he does, pulling her closer, their lips smashing together, filled with longing ang lust, and love and passion, and when they finally pull away they are both breathless.

"That was..." Karin begins when suddenly her door bangs open and her lights are flipped on.

"What in the hell is going on in here?!" Ichigo's rage filled eyes find Toshiro as he and Karin quickly jump apart from each other. "I thought I said that if I heard anything other than sleeping that I'd kick his ass out on the streets!"

Karin raises an eyebrow, placing her hands on her hips and shooting her brother a look, "Are you serious? What, have you been standing with your ear pressed up against the wall listening for anything other than sleeping?"

Ichigo looks away from his sister's intense gaze, "I wasn't"

"Really?" Karin crosses her arms over her chest, her glare deadly, "you are unbelievable!"

"Look, nothing was going on." Toshiro lies while looking right into Ichigo's intense stare.

"Oh yeah, like I'm going to believe that one! I saw how close you were to her!" Ichigo points an accusing finger at him.

Karin rolls her eyes at her brother, "Look, it's late, we weren't doing anything bad so let's all just go back to sleep."

Ichigo's eyes narrow, "leave the door open this time." With that said, he slowly walks back out, "And go to sleep this time!"

"We went to sleep last time, I just woke up!" Karin shouts back.

When he chooses not to reply Karin flips off the lights, shuts the door against her brothers wishes, and crawls into her bed.

"Good night Toshiro."

"Good night Karin." He replies with a small smile, though she could not see it for the dark, she could feel it and she smiles back at him all the same.

Authors Note: Next chapter will be Kenpachi and Karin's fight, then that's when all the drama and action will start.

Until then...

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