Mnemosyne's Youth

Chapter 28

Two weeks. 

For two damn weeks I heard nothing from Rayburn.

I tried going to his bar pero nasa labas palang ako hindi na ako hinarang na agad ako.

They said I'm not allowed to come inside and that I should go home.

"Sorry, Miss. I'm just doing what I'm told for. Malalagot ako sa pinsan ko kapag pinapasok kita."  at payak na ngumiti sa akin ang lalaki.

I shook my head. "Is he inside, I just want to see him.Wala s'ya sa condo n'ya. N-nag-aalala lang naman ako." I stuttered.

Ang kaso matigas s'yang tumanggi at umiling. Wala s'yang ibang sinabi at basta nalang akong pinapa-uwi.

Kaya mangiyak-ngiyak akong tumalikod.

I'm not allowed anywhere near him? Why? Did he left? Iniwan n'ya ba ako?

Why do I feel like this one is different from the last time?

Anong mapapala nang paghihintay ko kung wala naman pala akong hihintayin?

Bigo ang loob kong umalis. I wanted to ease my mind but I realise I have no will to do so.

Tinitignan ko ang bawat taong nakikita ko, ang iba ay busy sa kanilang ginagawa, habang ang iba ay kasama ang mga kaibigan, Nagtatawanan.

Why do I feel like I've been missing things like that? Noon kasi ang problema ko lang, I-meet ang expectation ng lahat.

That I need to do my best because every Zoyle's are at their best. Walang Zoyle na bobo, walang Zoyle na tamad.  Walang Zoyle na walang talent.

Kaya 'dapat kahit hindi ako magaling sa isang bagay, kaya ko parin. Magagawa ko parin.

Our Parents may raised us in a simple life, but in reality. We're not simple, especially when all the people around us expect us to be better. To always do better.

So when I met him. I thought I can just be me.

Because why not? I do not need to exert effort. He takes care of me, he became my back bone. I always feel like I'm floating in cloud nine whenever he's around.

Kaya ngayon na wala s'ya. Para akong nawala sa linya. It's like my comfort zone disappeared and I'm lost in the middle of a wild sea waves.

Pero s'ya namang panlalambot ko nang makita ko s'yang naghihintay sa tapat ng condo unit ko.

Like the usual, he's waiting outside my unit. His back leaning on the wall with both of his hands put inside the pocket of his jeans.

When he saw me, his face lit up.

The first thing I did is to shove him away. Pilit s'yang tinataboy.

Sobrang sikip ng dib-dib ko at ang makita s'ya ngayon ay para akong sasabog.

I'm happy that he's here but I'm hurt that he made me wait for something un assuring.

"Mnemo." He called my name sweetly. Too sweet that it felt so unfamiliar to my ears.

"Don't." I said and stop walking to face his face.

"What's wrong? Are you mad?" He asked as if that is something he should be clueless off.

"Yes! I'm mad, I'm angry!." I said truthfully. Suminghap ako bago ulit nag-salita.
"I hate the fact that you can leave me for so long then you start appearing again like nothing happened."

I pursed my lip but what I saw on his face is pain.

Naiinis n'yang ginulo ang buhok n'ya. Ngayon ko napansin kung gaano s'ya kaiba sa dati.