Mnemosyne's Youth

Chapter 10

Nakarating kami sa favorite tambayan namin ng mga kaibigan ko kapag pumupunta sa tagaytay, I told him the way to our usual bulaluhan and he oblige willingly.

Kumakain na ako pero napansin kong hindi nya ginagalaw yung kanya, I stopped eating and looked at him. He's just staring at me, my brows furrowed.

"Is there any problem?" I asked.

"I'm just thinking on how am I gonna wait for you till you reach your legal age." He directly replied.

Natigilan ako doon, I always felt that he's a very honest person, sinasabi nya kung ano ang nasa isip nya. That's what I noticed ever since I first met him.

I bit my lower lip to stop my self from spouting nonsense. He likes me, I know that. But I don't know why, bakit ako? Kung tutuusin halatang mas bata ako sa kaniya, how old is he anyway? I'm sure there are bunch of women who are willing to give themselves to him.

Is it because we had sex and he knew he's my first so he's taking responsibility?

That thought hurt me, I don't need a man who will think of me as his responsibility, I don't want to be a burden. Gusto ko, gusto ako kasi gusto nya ako. Nothing else.

"You know, you don't have to feel responsible on what happened, I'm trying my best to forget that night, kasi kahit ano namang sisi ang gawin ko, wala naman magbabago." I said and smiled bitterly.

Before he could say another thing, I continued. "We both know I'm too young for you, you're too old for me."

His brows creased with my last words. "I'm only 24" Matigas nyang sabi. My mouth parted.

"Ohh" I murmur.

His brows is still ridiculously  entangled. "What?" I said. "You're 24, I'm 17! I'm too young for you." and I rolled my eyes. 24 Is not that old, bata pa nga kung tutuusin, ang kaso 7 years  ang agwat namin. Paano ba ako nagustohan nito?

But does he really likes me?

Ang bilis naman kasi, posible ba iyon? Hindi ba dapat kilalanin mo muna 'yung tao bago mo magustohan?

"Are you turning me down?" tanong nya. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko. Am I? What if I am? Hindi ko na ba sya makikita?

Ang hirap naman sumagot, lalo na sa mukhang pinapakita n'ya. Like he's already accepting it, that he knows what I am thinking.

'Ghad. Mnemo, why are you hesitating, do you want to see him everyday? Don't be stupid!' I reprimand my self.

He was still looking at me, waiting for my answer.

"Kumain ka na." atsaka ko inusog yung  bowl ng bulalo n'ya, pero hindi n'ya 'yun pinansin, nakatingin parin sa ‘kin. I felt awkward.

I sighed. Finally I said "No."

Huminga s'ya ng maluwag, na para bang natanggal mga pasanin n'ya sa buhay, habang ako hindi  makapaniwala na sinabi ko 'yun. Kasi bakit? I don't like him, sure he's gwapo. But that's that. Was is it because of this sense of familiarity towards him?

Normal ba 'to? Baka nga.
I tried convincing my self.

I mean, I had sex with him, of course my body will feel familiar with his presence, kahit na isang beses lang, alam na ng katawan ko.  Iyon lang talaga 'yun.

"Good, because I don't want to push my self to you. But now, I'm not gonna stop, not after what happened between us." He pursed his lip, habang ako, natigalgal sa sinabi nya.

We stopped in tagaytay for two hours straight, now we're on our way back to manila. I told him to drop me off in front of our school gate, he refused tho but I insisted. Hindi ko alam, pero ayokong pati kung saan ako nakatira eh malaman n'ya.