The Secret Lightwood

Chapter Five

Stiles POV

"What do you mean you haven't been completely honest with us Stiles?" Izzy asks as she steps forward. I start to shrink back before standing up straight again. I was not a coward. I am a Lightwood and Lightwood's are not cowards.

"I mean exactly what I said. I haven't been honest with you guys. I keep saying I'm fine and I can handle everything, but the truth is that I haven't been fine in a long time." They looked at me their eyes filled with sympathy for my words.

"Ever since I was practically kicked out of the institute and deruned I became really depressed. Everything around me became a negative and there wasn't light in anything that I could see. It's like it was all a void. A bottomless void. I couldn't handle everything it was absolutely horrible. This feeling I had that everytime I saw an object I thought of how that particular object could kill me. I even thought about suicide. The only thing that stopped me from jumping off that bridge was Allison. She's my Parabatai. I know from the stories that you've told me that losing your Parabatai is the worst feeling you could feel. I couldn't do that to her and screw one more thing up I just couldn't." I was going to continue before Alec interrupted me.

"You said that you would be deruned. I don't remember that." I looked at him with tears in my eyes. Poor little Alec didn't even know.

"Maryse and Robert Lightwood hated me. They ignored me and pretended I didn't exist. It's horrible you know. Knowing that your own parents don't love you. That they sit there plotting how they're going to get rid of you. The kid that's only wish is to be loved by the people that raised him. To be accepted. That's all I ever wanted. I wanted the bedtime stories, the hugs and kisses goodnight and everything that a normal kid would feel from their parents. Love. That's all. That wasn't too much to ask. If you guys hadn't been looking out for me I wouldn't have had food on the table for me. Or someone to sleep next to when the nightmares got too bad. The hate from my parents got so bad that they went to Magnus Bane and asked him to erase my memories after they deruned me. Thank God he refused and told me what was going to happen before so I could escape. To think that Maryse and Robert hated me so much to the point where they would want to have me erased from their world all together." I felt tears rolling down my face, but I fought the urge to break down in front of them.

"So that's why you really left? Not because you needed a new atmosphere or because you needed space, but because you felt as if weren't loved in your own home?" Jace asked. I nodded and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"So all those nights you came in my bedroom to sleep with me. You kept talking about how you had this reoccurring dream about a poor boy who didn't feel loved. You were really trying to communicate your feelings to me?" Izzy questioned. I nodded again.

"Yeah but that was years ago. I was what 13? Maybe 14. At those times I was still hanging out with Raphael." I laughed but their faces went serious.

"You know Raphael Santiago?" Alec asked me.

"Yeah. He was actually one of my best friends growing up. I knew about him being a vampire way before you did. We would just hang out. At night of course, but yeah. He was one of the only people who made me feel like I belonged. Him and Magnus." Alec's face went cold as he reached for his phone. He dialed a number then left the room leaving Jace, Izzy, and I alone.

"Okay what I don't get is why you didn't come to one of us if you felt unloved. All three of us loved you. Seemed like Raphael and Magnus did too. We would've helped you. Just why? Why Stiles?" Now Izzy was killing me. She knows that card always makes me break.

"I didn't think you guys would ever believe that your beloved parents could ever great their own son like that." I said slowly. You know. Coming clean isn't an easy thing to do.

"Of course I would've believed you," Jace coughed,"I mean we would've believed you. We might've been a little hesitant a first, but at the end us Lightwood's. We stick together." She placed her hand on my shoulder before  pulling me into a bone crushing hug. Jace joined not long after that.

"So Magnus is coming. He is bringing Raphael with him if my request. Come here." He said as he too brought me into a hug. It felt good to be receiving this much love from my family.

"Okay now onto more important matters. There are demons in this town and a lot of them. Stronger than the ones we've faced before. With only the eleven of us we aren't really a match." I stated. They looked at me confused. Like I was supposed to be upset by the whole depressed thing. I mean I am but you have to move past things at some point or you'll miss everything.

"Wait hang on 11 of us? There's me, Jace, Izzy, Clary, Simon, Magnus, Raphael, Allison,band you. That's only nine. Who are the other two?" She agreed as he leaned forward onto the desk in interest.

"That would be us." I turned to see Lydia standing in the doorway with Isaac. Allison, Clary, and Simon pushed their way through to us and stood beside Alec.

"Aren't you two in the McCall pack?" Izzy asked.

"We were but Scott's Narcissistic and mean and just a horrible Alpha. Also we like Stiles more than him, and we don't approve of the way he's been treating him lately." I felt eyes on the back of my neck. I still didn't tell them everything about that part.

"Well the enemy of my enemy is my friend right?" Jace said as he moved his hand forward to shake Isaac's. Isaac stood there for a moment before connecting his with Jace's.

"Right."