17.0// I wasn't Begging //

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"So Y/N, a car will be waiting outside at 6am sharp to take you to your private jet. Your first stop is Texas, where your US stadium - Y/N!"

 "Huh?"

"Were you listening to a word of that?"

"Errrrr.....yeah?"

"What time must you wake up then?"

"7?"

Andrew looked at her exasperatedly.

"NO! Your car arrives at 6 so 4:30 would be ideal".

"Right".

Andrew sighed. "What's on your mind Y/N?" 

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Carry on". 

I gestured towards his fat binder. He shook his head and carried in enlisting my instructions but I was in too much of a daydream to pay attention. 

I'm leaving for tour in 3 days. I'll be gone for a year. I'm not sure why I'm still so worked up about it. I managed to stay away for 4 years - and I did okay. Apart from the excessive amount of alcohol. See, I thought this tour would fix me. The music could fix me. I could escape all the negativity and be surrounded by people who support me. And don't get me wrong, it will fix me, I know it will. But what happens after tour? Do i go back to making music? To acting? I don't know if I want that anymore. I'm just so fed up, my feelings are so fucked up that I don't know what I want. 

"Andrew?" I interrupted him.

 "Yeah?"

 "Can I ask you a question?" 

 "If it's about your missing coffee machine i know nothing about it"

 "Right. But no it's something else." I sighed. "You have the most hectic life that I have ever seen. There shouldn't be time for......relationships and all that stuff" I laughed nervously. This conversation was already turning out so wrong.

"Angway , what I really wanna know, I mean, I'm not desperate, just mildly interested, um is how-"

"How I manage to maintain a dating life?"

"How do you-"

 "How do I know? Mark told be about your little encounter with Tom. And Shawn warned me something like this would happen."

"Yeah well Shawn doesn't know shit. And who says this has anything to do with Tom?"

"Alright, alright. But my advice Y/N. Forget about your career. This is more important. When you find the right one, you snap 'em up. Or else you'll regret it."

I stayed quiet, thinking about his advice. 

"Right!" Andrew clapped his hands together making me jump. "So, should we order in? What you having? "

 "Um you choose". I replied, not really thinking straight. 

He nodded and left the room, leaving me alone. I bit my lip, wondering if I should do what I'm about to do. Ah, fuck it. After all, you find the right one, you snap 'em up. I pulled out my phone and hovered over his contact. 

can we meet?


I put my phone down, sighing. I did it. And I haven't died. Yet. But of course my judgement clouds me. He's not going to have time for me. He has a job. As if he could spare a dinner let alone time for ME. Do I seem too forward texting him? No if anything he's the desperate one, coming to my home and all that. But still. I should delete that text.

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