Mnemosyne's Youth

Prologue: Mnemosyne Blythe Zoyle

Ilang minuto kong tinitigan, nagbabakasakali na magbago, na baka nahihilo lang ako o mali ang nakikita ko.

I feel suffocated, hangang sa isa-isang pumatak ang mga luha ko sa mata.

With my trembling hands I grab the pregnancy kit — not one but three.

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, I wish I'm just delusional but I know. This is all real.

Anong sasabihin ko sa parents ko? Kay Papa?
Hindi ko na napigilan at humagulgol ako.

I cannot keep this a secret, sooner my tummy will grow, but how would I tell them about this?

How could I tell them how disgraceful I’ve become?
I look at my phone beside me, takot na takot na ako but I need to call my Mom.

I honestly don't know what to do, or how to tell her, pero si Mommy lang naman ang malalapitan ko.

Humihikbi akong dinial ang number ni Mommy. Her phone kept ringing but she's not answering it.

And when she picked it up...”M-mommy", nanginginig ang boses kong tawag sakanya, nagsusumbong. Hindi alam ang gagawin.

"Mnem, what's wrong?" Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig, hindi ako nakasagot.

It's not my mom, it’s Papa. His stern voice feels like thunder in my ear. “Nasa meeting ang Mommy mo, napatawag ka?" Tanong nya ulit.

My lips were trembling, I was scared, so scared that my mind went blank.

"W-wala po, Pa. Tatanong k-ko lang po kung pu..pupunta sya sa condo ko tonight" I managed to say without crumbling.

I suppress my cries, hirap na hirap pero ayokong marinig ng Tatay ko ang pag hikbi ko.

"Are you alright?" he sounds worried. Lalo akong napaiyak, my left hand went into my mouth to stop my cries from coming out.

"I'm f-fine po, bye Pa, I know you're busy"
Hindi ko na sya hinintay sumagot, binaba ko na ang cellphone ko.

"Papaaa... I'm sorry!" and I cried like a child. Patuloy na humagulgol, sa sakit. Sa disappointment. Sa katangahan. Sa pag-alala.

I know.. I know my father is gonna get mad, kasi...kasi napagdaanan na nya 'to noon. From his own sister, and now.. her daughter repeated the same mistake.

I'm just seventeen, but I'm already pregnant. Imagining my parents’ rage, disappointment and pain, hurt me even more.

I crawled back on my bed and hug myself in fetal position. I felt so drained.

Problem after problems. Where did I go wrong?

I was no longer crying hard but my tears  kept falling. Soon, I fell asleep. Probably because of exhaustion.

**
"Mnemy, b-baby--''

I woke up because of my mother's cries. Disoriented, but when I heard her, I immediately stood up.

Sa pagbalikwas ko, nakita ko siyang naka-upo sa lapag, kasama ng mga gamit kong nagkalat. 

My eyes went wide when I saw her expression.

She's crying... and her hands were holding the pregnancy kits.

"M-mommy", pagkatawag ko ay humarap sya sakin. Nagtataka, umiiyak, nanghihina.

When I saw her, I cried too.

"Baby, what's going on-" hindi nya matuloy ang sasabihin dahil humagulgol at sumama syang umiyak ng malakas sa akin.