My Indian Arranged Marriage COMPLETED

Chapter 15 Duty

The soft pillow gave me such an amazing feeling that i think i doze off. As i look around the room, in the closet and bathroom there is no sign of Jay. I unpacked everything, took a shower and now am hopping in bed. 

I hear the door finally opening. I look at him with a crazy big smile and all i could see is... dissapointment in his face. He didn't even say anything to me and headed straight for the bathroom. I knew it. I knew that the moment we came back everything would go back to the things were way before we went there. Somewhere in my heart i was still hoping that it wouldn't happen...but it did. And all i can feel is like my heart just clenched. 

I went under the covers and i am just patiently waiting for him to be here before i fall asleep. I then smell his cologne and i know he is on his way here. Shirtless and in a grey sweatpants he arrives and then also hops in bed under the covers. 

As i lie down on my back, i look at the ceiling. Waiting for him to say something. Anything. He says nothing to me. Not even a simple goodnight. I mean what has happened when he went away to his fathers study. What could have possibly gone wrong? Is it just me looking for a reason other than me? Am i justifying that now? Sighs.

I just had to open my mouth as always. I couldn't deal with what happened in the best, so i am trying to cope with everything. He then turns off every light in the room. From outside all i could see with that lightening is a sillehoute of everything. ''Is there something wrong?'' i ask him. I then wait and still no answer. i am now getting frustrated. Really frustrated. ''I asked you something. Did i do something wrong?'' i ask him again.

I then hear him sit up. He turns on his nightstand lamp. And looks at me somewhat between angry and frustrated. i frown at him. Still waiting for an answer.

''My father asked me to take over the family company entirely. He is retiring. From tomorrow on i am expected to withhold my whole family name and the legacy that came with it. And in that time you still expect me to stress myself with this?'' he then shows his hand between us two. I am shocked by what he is saying so all that i can say to him is ''i am sorry,what?''. He then somewhat rolls his eyes in the back of his head apparently. 

''I can't stress about us now Ria. I have bigger things to worry about tomorrow. Can you please for once not make this about you!'' he shouts at me. I am so shocked that i don't know how to react to everything he just said to me in the last 10 minutes. And what he says further, hurts my soul even more. ''What is wrong with you? Can't you just chill and sleep and not be nosy? Or do you think that just because on that island we shared somewhat kisses, you are something special now? huh?'' he shouts at me. All the blood drains from my face. After he realized what he said,i could see the sadness on his face.

My first kiss. I thought and considered that extremely special. Now my husband is telling me that the kisses we shared on that island was nothing special. It meant nothing to him. That is all i understood from everything he just said. 

He then comes closer to me. ''Shit'' he whispers under his breath. ''Ria i am sorry. I didn't mean that. I am sorry. You know that was a special moment between us. Shit Ria i am sorry'' he tells me. 

I could feel the warm tears falling out on my cheeks. I didn't realize when my eyes started to get watery. I don't whine or grunt or anything. I am just in shock. The only thing i could find the urge to say was ''So that meant nothing to you. Everything was just for fun. Goodnight'' i whispered to him. I could see his face becoming crazy and sad, not knowing what to say. I then move really to almost the end of the bed. I pull the covers and lie down with my back facing him. 

I can still hear him say things but i don't make myself listen to anything. I am now trying to make myself numb to everything about him. I can finally feel more of my tears falling down. I try not to snif out any sounds. I hear them after continue telling me something he just turned off his light. ''I am sorry i did not mean that'' i hear him whisper.

It is crazy how much words mean to us. In a time-limit everything changed for the worse. I never knew some words could make me feel that bad. After he said everything he wanted, i felt my heart shattering into a million pieces. It feels like my heart is just beyond repair. I don't know how to act now. I am just not sure how i will sleep right now. All i want to do is scream out all of my terrible emotions. I did not have any clue that this would happen today. I don't know what tomorrow might bring for me...