Clash of Wills

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I watched the world outside
Flying by as I stood alone
You're looking for the reasons why
You left the only place
The only place that you call home
The only place that you could hide

My eyes are open wide
I'm feeling every moment here
Am I just wasting time?
Waiting until you make up your mind


– “Running From the Sun” by Long Story Short

Chapter 21: Clash of Wills

            The Patriots played their first game at home against the Cincinnati Bengals. I knew it would take me awhile to get used to playing all of these AFC teams instead of NFC. I did not know them very well, and I did not know what to expect from them. I was not worried, though. The Patriots had this.

            I talked to reporter before the game. Thankfully, I wasn’t asked about my reasons for choosing the Patriots. Instead, I talked about my internship and what I planned to do with psychology. I hoped the government would not catch on and regulate the position I was trying to create. They would probably come up with some crazy licensing scheme and education requirement that would make it too impractical to ever work.

            After warming up, Brady jogged over to where I stood on the sideline. I had not talked to him since he had visited me in my office two days prior. “Hey,” he said, “are you ready for the game?”

            I shrugged. “Sure,” I said nonchalantly. I knew I had let my guard down in front of him in the last few days, and I was determined to make it stop. I could not let him get close to me.

            “It’s the first game of the season.” He smiled weakly as if he wanted me to get excited.

            “I know.”

            His smile faded. “Well, good luck on the sideline.”

            I did not watch him as he left. I did wonder if I would have any work to do during the game. I was supposed to be there for the players in case they needed something, but I did not know if any would be in the right mind to seek me out. This experiment was going to be interesting.

            I tried to push down the excitement that threatened to rise as the game began. I had to act professional. I wanted the Patriots to win, but I did not have to love them to do my job right.

The Bengals started off receiving the ball, but they ended up having to punt. My eyes were fixed on Brady as he took control of his offense. He made an impressive throw for 45 yards, and I had to remind myself to take control of my emotions. Two plays later, Wes Welker caught a touchdown pass. I merely nodded in approval. So far so good.

The Bengals came away with nothing again, while the Patriots followed up their first drive with a field goal. Then, in the second quarter, Brady and Wes connected for another touchdown. This time, I allowed myself to smile. “Great job,” I said to Wes as he passed me on the sideline.

Wes smiled and gave me a high five. “Thanks.”

Brady, who had been walking behind him, glanced at me, but I just looked away.

The Bengal’s next drive ended with an interception that was returned 59 yards for a touchdown. The Patriots were now up 24-0. The Bengals managed a field goal before the end of the first half.

The Patriots had the ball first at the beginning of the second half. After the ball was sent flying in the air, a Patriots player proceeded to run it back for a touchdown. I could not help the laugh that escaped my throat. “This is great,” I said to no one in particular.

The Bengals were not about to give up. They earned two touchdowns in their next two possessions. The Patriots were not through either. At the beginning of the fourth quarter, Brady threw a touchdown pass to Rob. I smiled as the tight end spiked the ball in the end zone, seeming really excited. After all, this was his first NFL touchdown.

His teammates both on and off the field rushed to congratulate him. Once he was free, I rushed towards him and nearly knocked him over with a hug. “Congratulations, Rob,” I said with a grin. “That was awesome.”

“Thanks, Lauren,” Rob said happily. “It was fine.”

From behind him, I could see Brady watching us, though I could not read his expression. Rob glanced back to see what I was looking at. When he looked at me again, there was questioning in his eyes. I simply shrugged and turned away.

The Bengals could only get a field goal in their next possession. Then they failed at an onside kick. The game was pretty much over then.

I remained calm as the team cheered for its victory. I did go around and give high fives to Rob, Wes, and Randy Moss, but I intentionally left out Brady. I had enjoyed the game, but I was not going to go overboard. I was in control of myself.

***

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