DARK

48. But I can't help thinking.

*JESSIE'S POV*

Me and Zayn went home that night, we sat upstairs in the silence. I showered and so did Zayn. I lay on the bed waiting for him. Liam's offer was loud in my head, I couldn't help but think ... what if I say yes. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Liam could make me feel good like ... really good. I just know that if Zayn finds out about Harry, he will go mad. If I sleep with Liam a couple times, it hides the truth but it will cause more lies to be hidden. I run the thought in my mind, "yes," I whispered to myself, I am actually going to say yes to this, is there something wrong with me ? Yes. Yes there is. I a choosing someone who is trouble and bad news, over my kick ass boyfriend that will make sure we last through anything ... yes, there is something very wrong with me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Zayn opening the door. An uneasy smile came across his face, I sat up straight, and crossed my legs. He walked over and sat in front of me, "are we okay ?" he whispers. I glance up at him and his eyes weren't as dark. He looked fearful, fearful of loosing me. I sighed and lifted his chin so his eyes met mine and I kissed him. "We are," I told him, he wrapped his arms around me, I sighed. Can I really make this deal with Liam now ? Can I break Zayn's heart, he is trying and he loves me, Liam just wants to fuck me then dump me. I mean, why was I even considering this ? Why am I still even considering this ?

Zayn kissed me, "I am not going to loose you again ... I am going to learn not to over-react," he told me, "you were right to react this time though Zayn ... I was wrong. I shouldn't have kissed Louis," I told him. "Why did you ?" he whispered, "I felt like I was loosing you ... I was alone," I confessed, he took my hand. "I wont make you feel alone again," he whispered. I nodded and leant against him, my lips grazed his neck. He moaned, "I wanted you too do that ... all day," he groaned. I smirked and kissed up his jaw line and then his lips softly.

He pushed me back into the bed, he grinded his hips into mine. I moaned as he made his way down my neck, sucking and biting at me. I smiled and slide down his boxers, he lifted up my shirt and tugged on the hem of my shorts, "Zayn ..." I groaned, "please, I just need tonight," he whispered, "I am not going to stop you, I need this too," I told him. He unclipped my bra, and pulled my panties down, he pushed into me harshly, I wasn't ready but I took him all in. I gasped and moaned against his neck, "oh fuck Zayn ..." I panted, he rolled his hips smoothly. "Scream my name doll," he ordered, I couldn't form words. "Scream," he ordered, giving one large thrust pushing into me hardly, causing me to orgasm, "ZAYN !" I ride out my high as he then explodes into me.

I gasp and he falls into bed next to me, we lay there in silence, he wraps his fingers around my hand. Our breathing was all that could be heard, "can we start again ?" he asked, "what do you mean ?" I reply, "I mean, me and you ... just forget everything that has happened and make it all about me and you ?" he whispers, I nodded and turn to him pulling the covers around us. He laughs and his warm hands pulls me close to his body.

After a while of tracing the tattoos on Zayn's chest with my finger tips, I still haven't fallen asleep. I looked up to only to be greeted by the sleeping perfection snuggled into my chest. I smiled up at him.

"You know it is not nice to stare ?" my eyes widened and soon I was greeted by his beautiful chocolate orbs that I will get lost in everytime I look into them. Zayn brushed his nose against mine and I giggled. "I thought you were sleeping, why are you awake at this hour ?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair. "I should asked you that question instead babe." "I can't sllleeeppp," I whined, Zayn chuckled, he pulled me against his chest and ran his hands up and down my back, sending shivers down my spine.

Out of no where I asked Zayn, "sing me a song will you ?" I asked, trying to pull the most cutest face ever, "a song ?" "Mhmm," "fine, the lady gets what she wants," Zayn smiled, I squealed and pecked Zayn's lips, "I love you Zaynie," I whispered.