Imprinted → lashton [book one]

2.6

A/N: theres like barely any dialogue in this chapter oh.
Ashton's P.O.V.
I didn't want to break up with Luke. I was scared of his tone, and how his knuckles curled on each other. It was self defence.

I wasn't excepting him to run off and go flirt with other people, but that's exactly what he did, and it killed me.

Michael and I decided to go to the mall to get some clothes and swimsuits for the up and coming months. He wanted to get the new Green Day shirt, which I complied to.

We walked into Hot Topic shortly after we got to the mall. I looked around at some of the albums before I saw it.

Luke and Elisa were walking hand and hand out of Topman, and I swear I almost puked.

"Michael, can we go? Like, now?" I ask, still feeling sick to my stomach. He glanced at me with a confused look.

"What happened?" I grab his arm as he dropped the shirt back on the black table. I pulled him out of the store, fighting my anger.

"Is that Luke?" Michael asks, waving over in his direction. "Let's go say hi," He added, trying to pull me that way.

"No, you can, but I'm not," I groaned, turning around to cross my arms. Michael rolled his eyes before telling my he'll be right back. Then he left me to talk to the blondes.

-

I left the mall while they were talking. I didn't feel like deal with Luke, or Elisa, or anyone really. I took a taxi home. Not wanting him to know my address, he dropped me off two blocks away, so I walked.

Once I got into my house, I gave dad a wave before running to my room.

Michael texted me in a panic asking where I was. I obviously explained.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you. Luke wanted to speak with you. -Michael

I sighed, unintentionally deciding to ignore him. I sat on the foot of my bed for a while, hugging myself, trying to forget about the world. It didn't work, so I did something I haven't done in weeks.

I turned the music up loud and sat at my drum set. I banged along to the music, and before I knew it, I was crying.

After the album restarted, I stopped playing and turned off the music. I took off my shirt on the way to the bathroom before closing the door behind me, dropping it in the laundry basket. I pushed down my jeans to step out of them, then I did something I haven't done in a while, either. I stepped on the scale.

134.
My head hurt. Maybe Luke was out with Elisa because she was skinny and pretty? And a girl? I can take care of one of those things.

Fuck food.

My mind was racing and my heart was hurting by the time I stood under the warm water in my shower. My arms were itching, but that was one streak I refused to break. One thing I refused to go back to.

I didn't miss being scared of myself, or the constant pain of loneliness, but I couldn't fight it off.

I washed myself off, before getting out and going straight to bed before I did something I'd regret.

I called Michael in the morning; he picked up on the second ring. "Ash, what happened?" I sighed, trying to re-explain everything that happened. He explained to me that they were just out as friends, but I wasn't buying a thing. Why should I?

I hung up quickly. I wasn't in the mood. I hugged a pillow the entire morning, staring at the wall. I didn't even notice Michael walk into the room until he lie by me, poking my back. I sighed, greeting him.

I hid my face, not wanting the tears to come now that I was back here. Back in reality. I rolled over so I could look at him.

"Let it out."

So I did. I cried. Hard. Soon enough, he was holding me. I didn't tell him about the swear to myself. I knew he'd tried to stop me.

I got ready after about an hour of crying. I got dressed, did my hair, and put my glasses on. I allowed Michael to get me in his car, and we just drove, and drove, and talked.

Luke texted Michael a few times, Calum did also, but he turned off his phone and ignored them. We eventually showed up in a small town, I have no idea what, but Michael did.
We walked through their downtown, going in and out of stores. I was skipping work, and I almost felt bad.

We found a record shop. An old one, that still had Elvis and Johnny Cash. Believe it or not, being the rock lover I am, I found Johnny inspiring. I remember Luke picking on me about it.

Michael got a Good Charlotte record. I left the town empty handed. We decided to get a late lunch around 2 before heading back, and Michael finally checked his phone, so I checked mine also.

Calum was fangirling (fanboying, fanmaning, whatever) in the group chat with Michael, Luke, him and I.

GUSY
GUYS
THSI ISNT A DRULL
NIALL HSUT SMED ME
NI JEOK
I WAS RWEETNG ABORUG THE ACCIENY AND HE WAS LAIRK GET BRTTER
DUKC WERW HVAING A CONVERATAION

Wow, he totally has a penis.

I texted back a 'how'd you reply?' Before locking my phone so Michael and I could talk. We ordered our food and waited, playing with the record player that was close to the wall.

My phone let out a ding. I excepted it to be Calum fangirling, but it wasn't. It was Luke, texting me Hey, can we talk?

I wanted to type no. I wanted to hate him, but I didn't. I loved him, I hated me. I deleted the notification, deciding to reply later. Soon enough, our food was sat in front of me. Then I thought of last night.

Fuck food.

I took one or two bites before stopping, assuring Michael I was just full from breakfast. That was a lie. My stomach was killing me.
We both paid for our food, then got into the car and headed home.

I fell asleep the entire way there.

-

I didn't want to go home, he didn't make me. We went to go visit Calum, and I was praying Luke wasn't there.

As always, my prayers are never answered. Elisa was with him, and Calum was laughing about something I suppose Carsyn, who was right beside him, said. I wanted to leave, but Michael didn't let me. He pulled me into the room.

Calum greeted both of us with hugs. I didn't speak again. He started reading out his conversation with Niall, he stopped and let out shaky breaths at some parts, making us laugh. Niall seemed kind, asking him how he was and such. I was tired, and wanted to leave. I was sad and wanted to leave. I was everything, and I wanted to leave.

A/N: im sorry but those last 3 sentences are me at school

Michael eventually agreed to take me home. I sluggishly left the room, dragging my feet. I instantly starting complaining about Luke and Elisa.

I finally went home, thanking him for the day before pushing the car door open and slamming it behind me.

Once I got inside, I went to walk to the stairs before my dad stopped me, and told me to sit down.

"Ashton, I know you have a lot going on right now, but gran," he stopped himself sucking in a breath, as if he's been holding it for 5 minutes, then slowly let it out. "She has cancer."

I cried.

Could anything get any worse?