Imprinted → lashton [book one]

1.6

A/N: 9 more chapters and then its over. wow what a ride. ALSO. it has a new cover, which is pretty cool if i do say so myself.

edit: its going till at least 40 maybe 50

Ashton's P.O.V.

I missed Luke.

Once we found out we didn't have any classes together we were upset. We still sat together at lunch, but I know something's on his mind. And I know what it is.

He has to come out to the school.

I want to help him, but with all I'm going through with it, I don't think I can. Carter was in most of my classes, so I got used to being pushed into lockers and having offensive words written on my desks. I gave up about standing up for myself, he doesn't listen.

I haven't told Luke about it, he's still mad that I didn't tell him he was tweeting me. So, I stayed quiet and hid the bruises, just like last year.

All Michael could talk about is how we're seniors and we're the 'top dogs' of the school. Calum got annoyed a lot so they'd scream at each other while Luke talked to me about something random to keep my attention off them.

Michael broke up with Kathryn out of boredom. Half of the school broke up with their partners. Calum and Carsyn are still together, though. Luke was still happy that the law was overcome.

I stopped eating so much again, Luke didn't notice thankfully. He's been really happy lately and I didn't want my dumbass self to ruin that.

I walk to math to see Carter and his friends laughing in their seats. I sigh, ignoring them before walking to my desk. I wanted to scream at the words they wrote.

IS THERE CHEMOTHERAPY FOR YOUR FAG DISEASE BECAUSE POOR HEMMINGS IS DYING.

"Mr. Irwin, is everything alright?" Our teacher, Mr. Jockinson, asks politely. "Yessir." I replied quickly, sitting down. I quickly tried to erase the words.

Maybe if I cried, my tears would wash them away.

-

Luke wanted to teach me how to play guitar. He always placed my hands on the neck of it, making my fingers make the chords. He loved my hands for some weird reasons. He always played with my fingers and kissed my knuckles or he would just simply hold them in his as if he had to protect them.

I knew he thought he had to protect me. I was used to it. I let him think that. He hates Carter, but if they ever fought, he could snap him in half. Luke knows that. Carter knows that. Everyone does.

Every night after I left Luke's, I'd curl in my duvet as if it was Luke and cry into it. Luke hated it when I weighed myself, but I did it every night, and I leave small cuts on my arm for every pound I'd gain. I was right back to where I started, but I refused to tell Luke. I could do this on my own.

But, I couldn't, I needed Luke. I needed his amazing words and him to tell me I'll be okay. I hated Carter, also. I wish I could make him feel the pain I felt daily, but I wasn't heartless like him.

In the morning when I realised it was Saturday, I went back to sleep until Luke was fitting his way into my bed also. "Good morning, Sleeping... Handsome?" I chuckled, hiding my face in his chest. I wanted to tell him about Carter so he could protect me, but I wanted to prove something to myself. I don't know what. Just something.

My life could probably be described in some inspirational quote about being strong or some shit, but I haven't found the right one. It's like I'm happy and sad at the same time. I could cry because I'm happy or sad, both would make sense.

Being quiet kills me. Hiding kills me, but Luke's happy. I'll fake all I can as long as that can stay the same. Luke's lips on my forehead snaps me back into reality.

"What's on your mind?" He whispers, stroking my hair.

Everything.

"Oh, nothing." I smile, playing with his hair. "Ashton," he mumbles. God, I love the way he says my name. "You don't have to fake anything for me." I look at him after that, my smile fading.

He sighs. "Tell me." He demands gently. I wanted to break down. "C-C..." I couldn't do it. I cut myself off quickly.

No, Ashton. You can't do it on your own.

Fuck off.

I could do this. "Nothing." I complete myself. Before he can reply I'm rolling out of my bed with the smile on my face. "Let's go get coffee!"

Luke's face got stern. "Ashton, seriously.. If something's wrong.."

I chuckled at him. "I'm fine!"

Lies.

A/N: I HAD A LOT OF EMOTIONS WHILE WRITING THIS CHAPTER NOT GONNA LIE. And if you don't follow me: I have two new fics out. One Lashton and one Narry, so ig you can go read those. ily, see you next update. (that was cheesy)