Blinded by Limerence

44 | She's Awake

Archer

It was around five in the morning when I had just snuck back home from Morgan's after cuddling with her.

Determined to be as silent as a mouse and as slick as a fox, I quietly opened the door to slip in unnoticed, but to my dismay, I was met by someone awaiting my arrival—

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

The shrill voice of my sister pierced through my eardrums, and I winced at the sound as I closed the door behind me, inwardly groaning because this was not a good time for a lecture from Addie right now.

"I said talk to her! Not romance her!"

"Geez, how did you find out so fast?" I mumbled, annoyed, as I took off my shoes and sleepily collapsed on the sofa.

Addie held up her phone. "She texted me," she said briefly.

At her reply, a wave of worry rushed through me, causing some of the sleepiness to slip away. I ran a distressed hand through my disheveled hair. She's awake already...?

"She said you left a note," sneered Addie, suspiciously narrowing her eyes at me. "What did it say? Are you stupid? What happened to everything we talked about after it happened?"

"Addie, I mean this with love—" I began saying as I tried to walk past her and to the staircase leading up to my room "—go away."

"No, nuh-uh, you're not getting away with this," she hissed bossily before seizing the sleeve of my sweater, holding me in place.

"The note simply said that I'm sorry I couldn't stay with her through the night, okay?!" I snapped, glaring at the demanding girl. "And, for the record, I was fully aware of my actions, and I'm sorry—I couldn't help myself, I really couldn't."

I sighed heavily, running my hand through my hair again—it was quickly becoming a habit. "You have no idea how hard it is to stay away, to watch her from afar, knowing that I was once part of her life." Suddenly, I felt tears begin to gather in my eyes. "And... and it pains my heart to remember... to have those bittersweet memories follow me wherever I go, whatever I do."

My voice began to crack as I continued with one final breath, "And yet—what hurts me the most is knowing that she can never know. She can never know how much I loved her, how much she loved me... She can never know how I once took care of her, protected her, stayed with her—until the very end."

Feeling my sister's eyes bore curiously into me, I averted my gaze because I couldn't bear to look at her now, not when I'm this vulnerable. As discreetly as I could, I wiped my watery eyes with the sleeve of my sweater and sniffled. "It all seems like forever ago—and s-she can never know."

"Archie..." Addie sighed, and when I mustered the courage to face her, I saw that she was in tears, too.

"Yeah, I know—I'm sorry," I quickly apologized, turning away once more. I tried to chuck out a joke to lighten the mood: "Sorry. This is all so feminine and emasculating." I forced a chuckle.

Addie hastily shook her head in response then brought me in for a hug. Resting her chin on my shoulder, she whispered into my ear, "Y'know, her parents are away... Maybe... Just m-maybe... This is when you get her back. It's your window."

I pulled away and stared at the brunette blankly. "Addie, her parents aren't gone forever," I responded, starting to regain my composure. "They're not dead." I wiped my tears dry and tried to flash her a smile that told her I'm okay, but it came out as the sort of smile that read I'm trying to be strong. 

And I am.

And it's hard.

"Yeah, but," she replied softly, "isn't this the first step?"

I shook my head. "Mr. and Mrs. Darhk will kill me," I coughed bitterly.

That's when I noticed, for the first time tonight, how her gray eyes glinted wickedly.

My twin sister shrugged and smiled mischievously. "So be it," she said, totally out of character. "It's time, Arch. You've tried doing it their way, but that clearly didn't work. Morgan still fell for you, you're still hung up on her... Somehow, you two still found a way back to each other. I think... I think now it's time you do it your way."

|

— FLASHBACK —

Addie rushed to the hospital with dad as soon as they heard. They met me and mom in the lobby. I was pacing around, frantically pulling out my hair in distress.

The moment she spotted me, Addie ran up to me with tears brimming in her gray eyes—her eyes without their usual twinkle, lost in the sea of shock and melancholy. 

"Archie, are you alright?" she asked me, her eyebrows knitted with worry.

When her gaze caught mine, she was shocked to see my tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. "No," I replied lowly, "I'm not. It's all my fault."

"Oh, Archie—it's not," she whispered before pulling me into one mess of a bear hug.

It didn't take long for mom and dad to approach us with their own nervous looks plastered on their faces.

"She's awake," dad said. "Do you want to speak to her?"

Mom lightly placed her hand on dad's shoulder. "Honey, the Darhks—"

Dad suddenly looked as if he had just remembered something. "Ah—right," he said.

Mom turned to me with pity-filled eyes and a deep frown etched onto her face. She looked about ten years older than her actual age. "Archie, sweetie," she began softly, "Mr. and Mrs. Darhk won't let you see Morgan anymore..."

I couldn't believe my ears. I wanted to retort, I wanted to scream out how unfair I thought this was, I wanted to fight for us, for the love we share—but I knew arguing was moot, because Morgan was still a minor, and ultimately, her parents get final say. 

And who am I to disrupt her family? Who am I to question the adults? As painful as it is to admit, I'm no one in this, a mere stranger amidst this family affair. This wasn't about me—it's about her.

Putting on a brave face, even though all I wanted to do was fall to my knees, pull out my hair, and scream, I gradually nodded as though I fully comprehended the news. I forced on a smile, and relieved at how I took the news, mom's tense shoulders sagged a bit, and she returned my smile.

As I stared at my mom's aged face, however, I couldn't help but wonder if they thought it was my fault: I was about to fall into the rabbit hole of new, nightmarish thoughts when I suddenly felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I turned around to meet Addie's eyes, Addie who's been oddly quiet throughout the discussion—or lack thereof.

"I'll take care of her, Arch," she said, and there was a strange resolution in her gaze. "Promise."

[TO BE CONTINUED...]