Blinded by Limerence

68 | Her Redeeming Qualities

Morgan

For the very last time, Addie and I sat on the steps of school after the graduation ceremony. 

While others went out to have victory meals with their families or attended huge end-of-year parties or just went home for a quiet evening alone, we opted for something more peaceful, something more personal—and so we soon found ourselves doing something we've done a million times before and recalling all the high school anecdotes we've gathered from the four years we've spent in Amity High. 

"Oh, my gosh, remember Mr. Donavan? And how infatuated you were with him?" laughed Addie, and I physically cringed at the memory. 

It was so embarrassing; I can't believe how I acted in front of a dignified adult like Collin. I should probably hit him up one day when I'm more matured and grown up to explain things like why I acted the way I did... but that's future Morgan's problem. 

"Don't even, A," I said, lifting up my hand and momentarily shutting my eyes. "In my defense, Mr. Donavan was fine as f—"

"Morgan?"

Hearing my name being called by a different voice, I opened my eyes. Though, I didn't need to see the face it came from to know whose voice it was—I've known her far too long to not be able to recognize the sound of her voice.

"If you're here to expose my girl again, just get outta here, Hanna," Addie was quick to say, glaring daggers into the girl.

A deep frown etched into Hanna's face at the remark, but she remained unfazed and turned to me with hopeful eyes. "Morgan, I know you owe me nothing, but—but can I have a word with you?"

I hastily faced Addie as though asking for her permission, and to that, she just rolled her eyes.

"It's your life, M," she said nonchalantly, but as I stared at her longer, my eyes practically begging for her approval, she sighed dramatically, tossing her head back. "Go."

So I went.

Hanna led me back inside the empty school halls for some privacy, and we loitered near the lockers.

"So—you must be wondering why I want to talk to you," Hanna began, her eyes glued to the floor. 

She'd already taken off her graduation gown, unlike me, and I noted the way she apprehensively fiddled with the sleeve of her sweater dress. Wanting to look anywhere but Hanna's face, I noticed that with the months gone by, her baby bump had gotten more evident.

"Honestly, I'm just surprised that you're still here and not out celebrating with friends," I said.

"Well, regardless, I'll make it brief," she said before taking a deep breath. "Er, I don't know how to phrase this, so I'll just come right out and say it: I... I made a deal with Trevor—"

I cocked an eyebrow, wondering how her having a deal with Trevor had anything to do with me. "So?"

Hanna looked affronted. 

"Let me finish," said Hanna, the pitch of her voice snapping up ever so slightly. "I—erm—I saw you that day, when you were on a date with Mr. Donavan—a-and I took photos... to use as leverage against Trevor. I t-told him to seduce you... to, um, get you to your breaking point... otherwise I'd send the questionable pictures to Principal Higgins..."

As Hanna trailed off, my brain paused because honestly, I didn't know what to make of this information.

"I—I was mad... and frustrated and irritated. It's hardly fair that you get your happily ever after and I don't... But don't get mad at Trevor or anything," Hanna was quick to add on. "He was only looking out for your best interests, and... um, you looked okay, anyway, so I thought that my plan didn't work after all... It all turned out okay!" 

Hanna appeared to be in denial, and she seemed to be rambling on just to make things seem better than they actually were. "R-right—?"

I had nothing to say to her, and her doing something as juvenile and crazy as that just fueled my desire to get out of this place, to finally leave high school in my dust.

Hanna sighed, probably getting the point that I didn't want to speak to her. Without another word, she handed me something wrapped in Kraft paper. 

"These are the photos I took of you two," she said. "Do what you must with them." 

Silently pulling on the piece of twine that held the packaging together, the packing paper unraveled before me, and I lifted the lid of the small cardboard box to see a single flash drive. 

Hanna pointed to the bright red device. "That holds the only copies of the pictures, a-and I know I've already posted them on that stupid freedom wall page for our school, but... well..." she trailed off, smiling nervously. "For what it's worth... I promise that flash drive has the only copies. I wouldn't, um, screw you over a second time."

So I was right—Hanna did take those pictures.

It wasn't like I was catatonic or anything, but I stood there numbly clutching the box containing the flash drive. 

Hanna eyed me apprehensively with her crystal blue eyes, regarding me with utmost caution, but she and I both knew I wouldn't be saying anything—and to be frank, I didn't really want to listen to her anymore. I know she probably meant well, but all she was doing was tarnishing the memory of my first time with the boy in question.

"Well, um, that's all. I just had to come clean—especially after what happened to Trevor," Hanna added. "I know you like to paint me as the bad guy, and honestly, I don't blame you for that because even I have to admit what I did was pretty villain-y. 

"I don't want to ruin whatever rom-com heroic male lead you've made Trevor out to be in your head, but I just couldn't keep this from you, if that makes sense—" she paused, her tongue nervously poking the inside of her cheek "—so, uh, hate me all you want. I don't have any redeeming qualities or anything, but I do hope this is how you remember me." Her eyes flickered down to the box in my hands.

Hanna carefully withdrew herself and turned around to leave.

I couldn't shake off what Hanna had said about wanting to break me and just needing to get everything she said off her chest, and that was probably what drove me to say what I said next. 

"You're only coming clean because you think you can tarnish my memory of Trevor," I said sharply, causing the girl to whirl back around to face me, "and that's really selfish and low, Hanna—even for you." 

Hanna was some ten feet away from me as she rocked uncomfortably in place, and though she was a distance away, I could've sworn I saw her eyes fill with subtle tears.

"You can't take that night away from me, Han... and in case you hadn't noticed, I've been broken for a long time now, so I guess you succeeded... Good job," I added before turning on my heel and walking away from the girl I once dubbed my best friend.