Xiao Zhan is a hard working psychologist with everything he has ever wanted in life, or so he thinks. He has always helped people with their problems, but has failed to face his own. However, when Zhan runs into his old college boyfriend two weeks b...
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Zhan wrestled in his sleep. He didn't want to wake up, but it was inescapable. His time was up. When his eyes popped open, he found himself in his original spot on the floor. As he rose to his feet, he whispered, I wish it were real.
He missed being a parent and taking care of Ling Xi and Junior. He listened intently around him but knew he wouldn't hear their sweet baby voices again.
Ling Xi would never call him "Papa." He wouldn't read her any more bedtime stories, cuddled together on Ling Xi's twin sized bed. Zhan had grown accustomed to his alternate life, but it was gone. His heart plummeted at the thought.
Despite missing his children, he missed Yibo. He relished in lying in his arms and waking up to him every morning. They remained crazy in love, even after seven years of marriage. He missed their talks at night and goodbye kisses in the morning. The way he would hug him in his arms warmed his heart. Zhan wiped the stray tear that escaped his eye. He knew he couldn't wallow on the floor. He needed to prepare for the new day—alone.
He dressed for work and proceeded to his office. The ride over was silent, since there were no children in the backseat. His radio played regular R&B music, different from the "ABC" song he'd grown accustomed to in his dream. Upon his arrival at his office, Zhan listened to his clients as usual. He used his expert advice to give solutions to their problems, but Zhan was unsure how to fix his own.
I'm still in love with Yibo.
He still felt his tender touches to his cheek and his deep laugh when they would joke and kid. Zhab had no idea how well they had fit together. He had even changed for him. He didn't have to give up on his dreams; he just found a new one. Yibo.
He was it for him.
Zhan's unhappiness increased as the days passed. Of course, he loved his career. His accomplishments were remarkable, but he missed having a family of his own. Their love would have made it all worthwhile.
The night before his trip back home, Zhan packed his luggage. He even remembered to set aside the Christmas gifts for his family. While rummaging through his drawer, Zhan found a crumpled piece of paper. As soon as he opened it, his eyes brimmed with fresh tears. It was a note from Yibo.
Based on the date, he wrote it when he left school for a summer internship. They had been a couple for four months, and Zhan stayed behind on campus taking summer courses, reminding him of those days were writing love letters was still a trend. At that moment, he sat on his bed. He imagined his baritone voice dictating the letter.
To My Zhan,
It looks like I'm going to have to write to you while I'm here. The cell reception is terrible. I'm not even using a pay phone since you don't answer numbers you don't recognize lol :). I'm going to miss you while I'm out here, but I can understand you wanting to get ahead in your classes. Don't worry; six weeks will be over before you know it.
I'll miss you like crazy starting right... now. I'll write to you again before the weekend. I wish I could be there to tell you this in person, but I can't hold it in any longer. I was going to wait for a special occasion, but there's no time like the present right? I love you, Zhan. When I see you, I'll tell you again so you can hear me say it.
Love, Yibo
Zhan recalled the day he read the letter.
Yibo shocked him with his heartfelt admission. I can't believe I kept this. His phone ringing startled him. He saw his sister's picture and answered.
"Hello." Zhan grabbed his tissue box.
Lu asked clearly concerned,
"Bro, what's wrong?"
Zhan wiped his nose.
"Nothing, what's up?"
"I was calling to tell you my husband and I made it home already," his sister informed him.
"Is Zhuo Cheng there too?" Zhan inquired.
"Yeah, he, Hai Kuan, and their child made it in this morning. We're just waiting on you."
"I should be there tomorrow evening."
Lu pressed further,
"Are you sure you're okay?"
Zhan shook his head.
"I don't know what to do, sis."
"What's wrong?"
"I can't stop thinking about Yibo."
"Awe Zhan," Lu responded sympathetically.
"I'm still in love with him after all these years," he confessed.
"Then you should tell him."
"I can't do that to him. It wouldn't be right," Zhan protested.
"What wouldn't be right is you making the same mistake twice," Lu pointed out.
"I wouldn't know what to say to him."
"Just tell him the truth," Lu encouraged him.
Zhan took a deep breath.
"Thanks, sis."
"You're welcome. Do what you have to do. I'll see you when you get here," Lu said.
