ahhhh I'm sooooo sorry for the long awaited update. I just recently moved and got all my furniture and I've been doing that non-stop for the past week. I'm not completely done but I've been taking breaks to write this chapter just for y'all so I hope you all enjoy because I made it longer than usual.
Also I want to start doing shoutouts for people who are interactive with my books and my long hiatus'; so the first shoutout will be going to ..
bisexualbitch04 !! Thank you so much for your constant support and everyone go check their books out !!
Jayde
I sit there stunned as Harry openly pours his heart out to me in this midst of everything going on. My mouth is hung wide open and I truly dont know how to respond to Harrys outpour of emotions. This is all I've been wanting to hear from Harry since I started working at his company and we rehashed what we had in the past. This situation would be difficult for anyone, whether alike or not. Love triangles are possibly the most difficult things possible, but this one with Harry, Jenna and I was already hard as it is but me being pregnant with Harrys child while he's into the midst of getting married just made this go from worse too horrible.
"Please say something Jayde and don't leave me hanging like this." I truly cannot think of the words to speak to him in this moment, its almost too much to take in and comprehend in such a short time. Rather than speaking words to him, I lean over the center console and place both hands on either side of his face and look him dead in the eyes. "I love you, Harry." With that I pull his head towards mine and crash my lips onto his. On impact I about melt into the seat from the intense feeling of his lips perfectly molded onto mine. I missed this feeling, this feeling I haven't felt with any other man besides Harry. The feelings of feeling so safe and secured, warm, protected and loved. The loved feeling is pushing it at times but in this moment, I adore and admire everything and then more about Harry.
After a brief makeout session, im the first to pull back from the intimate kiss on multiple occasions as Harry continuously goes back in for another every time I pull back. But the last kiss, our faces linger next to one another for a few moments and I keep my hand gripped to the back of his neck. "This," He motions a finger between the two of our chests. "This is what I want, what I need. No one makes me feel the way you make me feel Jayde, and thats a feeling I want to feel everyday and every-night of my life. I know what im saying maybe hard to believe since ive lied to you so many times. But I swear on my life Jayde, on the twins and this baby that I want nothing more than to be with you for the rest of my life Jayde. I want our family together and I will make sure that happens. I dont want you stressing over if im in this or if im off running with another female. I want this time to be different for us, I want you to physically see and feel that im all for you and no one else, okay?
"You already know how I feel about you Harry, you've always known how ive felt about you and that feeling hasn't changed, but I gotta look out for myself and make sure that im okay. You've hurt me so much Harry, and through it all I still stupidly came crawling back to you after every time too. I always asked myself why and its because I love you. What we have isn't healthy by any chance and I know if people knew our situation they would be throwing red flags and saying were toxic for one another everywhere we stepped. All our families and friends have told us on multiple occasions so I can only imagine what complete outsiders would say. Do I want to be with you? Hell fucking yeah, but im scareed. Im scared of falling into the same pattern with you over and over, im tiered of getting my heart broken by you and you not even care. You're not easy to love or easy to be with Harry, Im not saying its a bad thing but you always make it a bad thing. I want everything and then some of what you just said, that all I want Harry, but ive always seen that as a fantasy with you because every time we do try, you wind up hurting me and driving the knife in my back deeper and deeper." He understandingly nods and shoots his gaze away from me.
