I can't think straight

008

JENNIE'S POV

" Okay love. Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm really fine here though I miss you. Take care of yourself, okay?....can you do that for me?.......Good! Now I should keep going. Bye love.....love you too" I ended up the call.

It's another day without Kai, and here I am again, alone. Kai and I just talk in the phone a while ago.

I'm so glad that he called me first, I thought that he forget about me. I'm happy to hear him saying he miss me, like I missing him so badly.

As usual we talk about work, on how busy he was. I also told him about our wedding that he should be with me when preparing all the things we needed and I really want his opinion, I want the both of us agree of the theme, venue and etc.

For my luck, Kai agree with me and he promise to be present in our next visit in the wedding planner.

Meanwhile, after the call, I made myself a coffee and sat down in the couch while my feet are on coffee table.

I woke up early this time with no hangover and I sleep last night early as possible. I need this fresh new day and start,

This is I need every morning, sipping my coffee and comfortably seating in the couch, I close my eyes feeling the quietness.

I already dress up for work so, I just need some time to relax before going to my work place.

As I put the cup of coffee in the table, I start to hear a noise a very familiar sounds created by the equipment of the  contruction workers, from the neighborhood, which only means that they start working.

Lisa.

" What the!....awwww!" I slap myself intentionally to snapped out from thinking Lisa. I think I'm crazy beating myself by just thinking of her.

I really want to stand up and look up what they were doing this time. I want to peek at my balcony if Lisa was already there, working her ass out early while her sweat dripping all over her body.

Oh shit! I can't do that. I never will, cause my conscience  telling me not to. I urged  to not do such crazy things that soon I may regret seeing or doing.

I recall yesterday what Chaeng told me, about Lisa and it makes me more bothered when she said that I should never turn down Lisa's invitation.

Because 1st; its just a friendly invitation. 2nd; I feel like I don't have a manners or empathy towards her. 3rd ; was the worst of all because Chaeng said that I'm obviously avoiding her. Which means Lisa will think that she has an effect on me whenever I see her or talk to her, which is the fact that I really can't deny it. Am I that obvious?

Needless to say avoiding Lisa is the worst thing to do said my friend because Lisa know that I already have a fiance. So she already know her limitations and actions towards me, I will just trust myself too, to avoid having skinship and flirting with her.

And now the my conscience eating me, am I really rude at her? For saying 'no' and avoiding her is not really a good solution. I think I will just make it up with her. But how? I already said no to her and I really don't know if she will still ask me or invite me after what I said to her.

Why I'm so defensive at her action, whenever she's come close to me, am I that guilty? Cause I have this strange feeling towards her.

Oh no! I'm going insane, I'm not going to break this great wall of Jennie towards Lisa, not when I'm with her.

I look at the OLIVIA BURTON that has a 3D daisy leather strap watch in my wrist to see what time is it. And I think it's really time to get up and ready to leave the house.