IT'S MONDAY AND I'M FUCKING TIRED. so apologies, this author's note is gonna be like ten words (whoops worry) and the very personal entry is getting delayed (hehe whatta surprise) so stayed tuned? anyway, hope y'all are alive and good, and have a wondrous week. do good, be well. garggie <3
V E S S E L .
She is but a vessel.
She is just an empty container, waiting to be filled, waiting to feel again, waiting to serve purpose.
She is but a vessel.
It always looks like she's something else, something more, but it never sticks. For some time, she can be filled with joy and happiness, and she will laugh and smile and convince you she is happy, but it never sticks.
She is but a vessel.
Cracks line her foundation, and the happiness trickles out, leaving her smiling until the moment she realizes she is empty once more, and the world crashes down around her.
She is but a vessel.
She exists only to be of use to others, and she longs for it, but god she resents it. She needs a purpose; if she cannot feel herself, at least she can feel through other's needs. But she detests it with every fiber of her being as well. She wants to feel. She wants to remember what rain felt like on her skin and how it felt to want and need and live and laugh and hurt. But she can't, so she lives through others - a vessel waiting to be filled.
She is but a vessel.
She is empty and fragile, one blow from tipping over and shattering and dying. You never know how hallow she is, you always think she of full of joy and life and vigor, but in reality, she's struggling through her daily lines of I'm-fine-I-swear-it's-just-an-off-day.
She is but a vessel.
And today, she is empty. But some day, she will be full.
...
YOU ARE READING
ab initio, ad infinitum
Random"from the beginning, to infinity." or me slapping down words on paper when i feel something and pretending i had an objective, all while using too many curse words. //ran. will sporadically update. very excessive use of expletives. © garggie.
