PART ONE IN THE FEELINGS SERIES. Look at me go, updating so soon to the last update XD So how are y'all doing? What's one thing that happened today that brightened up your day? I cut my hair, and istg an actual weight has been lifted from my skull. Please enjoy this newfound productivity and posting, because it's probably not gonna last. do well, be kind. <3
N O S T A L G I A .
There's something stunning about nostalgia. About how, in less than a second, you get transported to a time past where things were different, and then you gain bearings again. Sometimes the reality of right now is a sickening punch to the gut, stealing the very breath from your lungs. Sometimes it's pleasant warmth that buzzes in your ears, a singing choir of look how far you've come.
Most times, it's a tight constraining of your chest, heavy seconds that you don't quite know what to do or how to breathe properly.
Nostalgia comes in waves, as unsure as the sea, washing over you suddenly and overwhelmingly. It feels as though if you closed your eyes, you can see something that you can't quite place, a tug that this moment belongs somewhere else. That whatever you're feeling, feels right for this unexplainable reason, but not where you are. That the sight before you was a piece lost in translation, part of a parallel word of smiles and laughter that has faded at the edges.
Sometimes it's nostalgia for something that was never meant to be. The acute ache of missing something that never was there; a phantom limb of possibility. That this all could've been yours years ago if you turned down a different path of life.
It's sometimes the longing for a simpler time when smiling felt more like liquid joy and less like a chore. When happiness was a commodity that you have the luxury of having. When you could love without consequence and laugh without anything to lose. When things were far from perfect, but they felt so fucking real.
Sometimes, you maybe think that feeling just comes from your brain. That maybe back then, the weight of world was just as heavy as it is now, but that's the beauty of nostalgia- of living life through rose-tinted lens of the past- isn't it?
We'll never fucking know,
...
YOU ARE READING
ab initio, ad infinitum
Random"from the beginning, to infinity." or me slapping down words on paper when i feel something and pretending i had an objective, all while using too many curse words. //ran. will sporadically update. very excessive use of expletives. © garggie.
