My Aegyo Love

Twenty Fifth Aegyo

Blythe’s POV    

Jean was back to her normal self the next day, she even woke me up with a cheerful smile on her face. She’s active at class and even during practice did her activeness still remained. I’m not so sure, but, it is a relief that the “ mess “ two days ago was put in the past. I do not dare speak of it, for it might upset her again. I didn’t told the others about it, in respect to Jean ( she might want to keep it to herself for the mean time, she can always tell them once she’s ready ). Yuna would sometimes ask us about the trip ( the first time she did, I almost freaked out but when I turned to Jean, the latter has a smile on her face and told them that we had a good time at Muuido Island ) and Jean would always say that the island is beautiful and that the people there are so kind. Still, there are times when I catch her staring out into space. She’s still affected by it.     

Woohyun stopped calling and sending her text messages. Sungyeol, as well, stopped doing the same thing. Maybe it’s for the best that they did, so that the three of them would cool their heads for the mean time. The problem is indeed serious. I just hope that they’ll be able to patch things up soon...

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Woohyun’s POV      

Sunggyu really did gave an earful back at the beach. Right now I’m lying on my bed, in our shared room at the dorm. Our leader decided not to tell manager-hyung, in return, Sungyeol and I should make things right again and apologize to Jean. Since we have the week off, we should use this opportunity to mend breaks and heart aches and forgive one another...

Jean       

I couldn’t forget the look that she did, when I accidentally yelled at her. Her face expressed shock and hurt. Tears were about to fall from her eyes as she tried to stiffle her sobs from coming out. I really want to hit myself, that time. I never meant to lose steam at her. I was baffled by Sungyeol’s confession. I got surprised. I was hurt that he didn’t even told me that he also likes her. I told him my secrets, so why couldn’t he even tell his?

We are friends, but sometimes you need to act on your own!!!   

His statement still punctures me. Maybe it was a " spur-of-the-moment " kind of thing that he decided to said that. But nothing hurts the fact that I've hurt the woman I love. How I discovered my feelings? Let's just say it was love at first sight. When I saw her the first time, I thought I saw a Goddess. Her flowing hair which shines like hazelnut in the sunlight, cerulean eyes that shows the most radiant blue I've ever seen and that smile...

That never fails to make me fall head over heels in love with her all over again.         

She may be too serious, composed and up-tight, but, she's really fun to be with. We did so many things together and even experienced new ones, that resulted to a big smile on both of our faces. Jean is much better with a smile, and not her brows knitted together with her mouth forming into a scowl. But most of all, I don't want to see her hurt expression...just like that time....

What kind of a " man-in-love " am I? How could I make her cry? All because my emotions got in the way. I didn't dare try to text or call her because of guilt. I feel guilt for making her feel that way. I'm hoping that she's alright. I couldn't help but worry about her. How is she doing? Is she still hurt? Is she mad? So many questions keep popping in my head but only one send shivers up my spine...

Does she despise me, now?          

Jean hating me is unpleasant. I don't know what will happen if she starts to feel such emotion towards me. All I know is that I'd die. I'd die if one day she walks away from my life. Of all the people I've met, she's the one who stands out. There is something in her that others do not have. Something so unique that it draws me to her bit by bit. I may be the daring type but confessing my feelings for her scares me. Maybe Sungyeol is right. I'm afraid of accepting the fact that Jean might not reciprocate my feelings.

That she might [not] love me back.

Why I thought of such things? I've been observing her and Sungyeol these days. They seemed to be close and Jean even had that smile that I haven't seen before. 

That smile that I wanted it to be shown only to me.       

Of course we're not so sure if she likes him back, but sometimes I couldn't help but feel as if she will. And when Sungyeol told her his confession, that's when I felt the fear. But it seems all of my chances where washed down the drain.

All because I hurt her.               

My stomach started grumbling. I realized that it was lunch time ( I didn't ate breakfast earlier since I don't have the appetite for it ). Exiting the room, I saw that the living room was empty ( the others might either be out or doing things that they usually do during day-offs like sleeping ). I decided that Ramen is the best to quench my hunger and hurried towards the kitchen. But when I arrived at said kitchen did I felt my blood turned cold. 

Sungyeol was in the kitchen.

He was drinking a glass of water. When he turned, our eyes met. After our fight, the two of us have been avoiding each other. If one is in a certain room, the other would go to another and vice-versa. We couldn't stand each other and another brawl might even ensue if ever we crossed paths. We did that for two days straight. But it seemed luck isn't on our side today. Here we are, standing in front of each other in all our glory. I could feel the tension rising in the room as our stares lingered at the other. Neither of our gazes were wavering. It felt like eternity has passed before Sungyeol decided to move. He set the glass on the sink and started heading towards me. I thought he was going to hit me, instead, he passed through me and went back to his room. I was clutching my heart as I grabbed a pot and a packet of ramen. Sungyeol sometimes scares me...     

I watched as the water started boiling from the pot before placing the noodles in. Would we manage to fix the problem and forgive one another? Would Jean also forgive us? Would she forgive me for yelling at her? I ruffled my head in frustration. Would they even still accept me after what I did?! 

I'm sorry Jean, Sungyeol....I never meant to hurt you guys but my emotions got in the way....I was scared....so scared....

Sungyeol, I never meant to hit you back then....you were only acting on your own feelings but I mistook your intentions...

And Jean...My beloved Jean....I'm so sorry for yelling at you....I still regret it...no....I regretted that I hurt the both of you....would you both still have the heart to forgive me after what I did, back then? 

Your pained expression still haunts me in my dreams, Jean, it still does....it breaks my heart remembering it....so much that I don't have the heart and the right to face you....your pained look is so excruciating that I started cursing myself for acting like a jerk...a heartless jerk who only thinks about himself.....