Even After All

Part Thirty

Chapter Thirty

A shout, a scream almost pierced the quiet evening. Dylan jumped up from his desk and ran at speed into the lounge. Matilda was half sat up on the sofa, her eyes bewildered.

                “You ok?”

She was panting, sweat lining her brow, and she nodded in a distracted way, “bad dream I presume.”

He watched as her eyes scanned the room, looking for the scene that had haunted her sleep and made her call out.

Crossing towards her, he lowered himself beside her on the sofa, “come here.” He stretched  out an arm, and with a sigh she leaned against him.

They sat there for a while, his arm around her, her head on his shoulder, until eventually she spoke.

                “I saw his face...well, his eyes...”

Dylan found himself stroking her hair, murmuring words of encouragement, support. “You’re allowed to be scared, to be worried.”

She laughed, the sensation tingling his neck, “I fought remembering, or showing I was scared cos I didn’t want to hear ‘I told you so’!”

Smiling he turned her in his arms, looked down at her, “I’m not interested in cheap point scoring, I genuinely worry about you, ok?”

Matilda nodded and the tears that welled in her eyes tugged at his heart. With a groan he pulled her close once more, his lips settling on to the top of her head, kissing her scalp through her hair, trusting himself to do no more than hold her.

It was a little while later that her breathing became softer, more regular, and he realised she’d fallen asleep in his arms. Reluctantly he lowered her back to the pillows, then lifted her legs so that she was stretched out once more on the sofa.

Standing he stared down at her, the last few hours it had felt as though he’d travelled back six or seven years, to a time when nothing mattered, neither of them were hurt, neither looking to score cheap points. It had seemed so easy then, to love Matilda and trust her, to know that she felt the same way. He sighed, was it greed? Was that what had driven him to leave, to chase a dream that meant he lost her? He couldn’t believe that, there was more to him than just greed, he had to believe that.

He thought back to those times, he wanted to provide for her, he wanted to be everything, and that meant being successful. He dreamed of a home, a family...everything your mother didn’t provide. He sighed, hating that his mother penetrated this moment, but then he knew it was relevant. She had dragged him through life along with her on an constant quest to find better than she had, replacing one husband with the next one who was richer, more successful and more beneficial to her than the last. Was that what he’d done? Tried to be the best, tried to be the man that Matilda would never want to seek to improve.

He laughed out loud, that had worked out SO well.

Looking down at her sleeping he groaned, until a few months ago he hadn’t wanted to process the fact that he’d screwed his life up, or how empty it was without her, but he so obviously had and it SO obviously was. And that realisation pained him, he was beginning to wonder if he could ever make it right again.

Mattie saw those eyes, staring at her, contempt, hatred. She turned but everywhere she looked were similar half screened faces, she was outside her home but couldn’t reach it.