Even After All

Part Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Six

How long had she been sat on the bench? Mattie didn't know, but she was cold, her legs felt stiff. When she looked around her, the skies were darkening? She couldn't believe that so much time had elapsed since Dylan walked away, but then it wasn't as if she didn't havelots to think about.

A job, with Dylan, for Dylan again. He promised her it could be what she wanted, on her terms.

It would be easy to slip back into a job with Dylan, but on the other hand it could be horrendously difficult and quite likely the worst decision of jet life.

She wanted to bury her head in the sand, pretend that he hadn't suggested it... out that she didn't need it.

Mattie knew she had to be rational, take emotions out of the equation. This was HER decision, her chance to do what was right for her, and her alone. With any decision she needed clarity and for this that involved think about the pros - she loved the job, it was well paid, he was offering her a better deal than she already had, it was a regular income, with the cons - of which there was just one - Dylan and the unpredictability that meant.

Was it being stubborn to avoid him just because? Was it a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face? And most importantly was that right for her?

Mattie wasn't about to make any rash decisions, but that didn't mean she hadn't thought about it... constantly; she'd contemplated it all weekend. A weekend during which four temp agencies called her back with not just short term prospects of placements, but permanent job offers too. It was food for thought, and even by Sunday afternoon she hadn't truly made up her mind.

Sitting across the table from Andy and his two friends Scott and Paul, for Sunday lunch she hated that she was still undecided.

"You're quiet." She glanced up from her roast beef and smiled at Andy.

"Big decisions on my mind."

He smiled, "does it help to talk? I'm not exactly the best on advice, but between the three of us we might make some sense."

Chuckling she speared a carrot with her fork and chewed on it contemplatively for a moment, "Dylan offered me my job back, better money, more seniority, I'd be in sole charge."

Andy almost spat out his dinner, "what? The man who made you resign...YOU the most conscientious hard working person I have ever come across, but you're contemplating going back? It must have been horrendous to make you resign..."

She nodded, "but I love the hotel, the staff...it's a great place. And I'm good at it."

"What about you though? Because it sounds like this is what he wants. He clicks you jump. This is the problem with working with an ex; they know exactly what buttons to press. He can promise you the world now, but what'll happen in a week, a month...a year?"

That was what she'd been thinking about; it was the short term she was concerned with. Did she trust Dylan enough to NOT hurt her again? He promised he'd learned, but had he really? She sighed, they'd talked, properly, fir the first time. She'd finally understood that them splitting had hurt him too, maybe it was immature, but they'd both held that pain in front of them like a shield. They had to get past that, and she wasn't sure that she was able to, or that he was either. How much water could pass under the bridge before the relationship was soiled forever?

Andy must have been operating on a telepathic level because he immediately offered, "you can't possibly think that you two can be friends, colleagues? It's too late and he's hurt you too much."

She sighed, "I've hurt him too."

"BULLSHIT!" He exclaimed leaning across the table towards her, "do you remember how you were when I met you? Do you remember all you'd been through? ALL due to him, no one else."