I DON'T. [harvey mills]

Twenty Three.

And then, my alarm goes off. Thank God it was all a dream. Well, not all of it. Just the Harvey part was, the rest did happen. But now I know that not all hope is lost. Maybe she hasn't told him what happened yet.

•••

When it's finally time to go home, I go outside, only to see Harvey kissing Emily. I walk past them really quickly, trying to avoid any type of eye contact, basically pretending I haven't seen them.

"Hey, Morg", he says. I try not to look at him, but I unintentionally do. He's perfect. Why is he so perfect? Why does he do this to me? I glance at her and she's not looking at me, it's almost as if she were ashamed. I'm not sure how that makes me feel.

"Hi...", I finally respond. "I... gotta go. So, I-uh, I am gonna do that."

He gives me that smile. That perfect smile, "Okay. I'll text you later"

I walk away rapidly. I can't let my thoughts torture me, but just thinking about them, together, his lips on hers, her hand in his, ew, no. It's sick how much you can like someone till the point where you can't really think about anything else but that person. 

I notice Jordyn and Arya walking behind me, and ask them "do you guys wanna come hang out?"

Jordyn shrugs, "Sure, I ain't got nothing to do"

"I kinda have to work on this project...", Arya replies.

"Come on, don't be a killjoy for once. You can do the project later", Jordyn insists.

"Okay... I guess I will go with you"

•••

"So... do y'all wanna play kiss, marry, kill?", Jordyn excitedly asks. Arya and I both nod. "Okay, so... Morgan, kiss, marry, kill... Bryce, Mason and Jake"

"Kill Mason!" I yell, "I'd definitely kill Mason. Stupid asshole..."

"I'd kill him too. He's gross. I don't understand why you ever liked him in the first place", Arya says with a grimace.

"Me either. I don't know what I saw in him. He's not cute, he's not smart, and even if he seems nice, at the end of the day, he's just a double faced bitch"

"You couldn't have said it better", Jordyn nods, "Either way, who'd you kiss and who'd you marry?"

"Uh... I'd kiss Jake and marry Bryce, because as much as I hated what he did, y'all gotta admit he's a total dad"

"You bet he is, but stupid Emily had to ruin it all"

"Why do you hate her so much, Jordyn?", Arya asks, "she was your friend at some point"

"Yeah, she was, until she decided to become a total bitch.", she sighs, "but it's fine, it's her loss."

"Okay, okay, yeah, but why do you hate her? What did she ever do to you?"

"Well, we used to be really close and all, but you know how she is... all flirty and cute and she's always trying to be so perfect... and she gets every guy to be at her feet like she's some sort of boy magnet, like, why is that? What the hell is so special about her? She's just another girl, it's not like she's a goddess, like yeah, she's pretty but she's not that pretty for everyone to be that obsessed with her"

I can't say I don't agree with that, it's definitely true that she always gets all the attention and there's nothing that special about her, but boys love her.

"But she can't do much by herself, she's kinda weak, to be honest. It's almost like she can't work without having a boyfriend. It's like she needs someone to protect her, and to always be there for her or she simply won't work. Yeah, she's weak. Maybe that's what guys look for in a girl", she sighs, "whatever. I am not gonna change to get guys to like me, I've got a stronger personality, and guys might not like that, but I don't care, I don't even care about guys liking me, like, it's whatever. If they want a weaker, more delicate girl like Emily, then I'll deal with that"

"Who's the guy?", Arya asks.

"I was just speaking in general"

"No, no, I know you. Who's the guy?"

"It doesn't matter anymore... he likes her"

"Who is it?"

"I said it doesn't matter, leave it."

"Tell us"

"Ugh, fine, Ashton, it's Ashton... I like Ashton, okay?" Arya and I look at each other, "why are you looking at each other like that?"

"It really took me by surprise... you always act so... tough... and he's so... him", I say.

"I thought you had better taste than that, to be honest", Arya tells her crossing her arms.

"Shut up, he's fine as hell", she smiles, "So... Arya, kiss, marry, kill, Harvey, Greyson, Adam"

"Kill Adam, kiss Greyson and definitely marry Harvey"

"Hey, chill, Harvey's mine", I tell her jokingly, but at the same time wishing those words were true. The expression in my face changes. He's not with me. He's not... mine. "Wait", I stand up and look out the window, just to see him in his room with Emily. They're not doing anything, just talking, but it still bothers me. "Oh my God"

"What? Is he there? I wanna see", Arya says as she and Jordyn stand up and come close the window. "Why is he with Emily, though?"

"Because he likes her?", I answer.

"Are they like actually a thing? Because I don't think they look good together... I'd very much rather see you two together"

"Yes. Emily said they are officially together"

"Nah, this kid can't fool me. He's not into her", Jordyn says.

"Yes he is. He told me that. He said he was into her. Plus, why would he have asked her to be his girlfriend if he didn't like her"

"Because he's frustrated, because he wants to see you suffer like he did for you. But he really doesn't feel anything for her, I can tell."